22 August 2023, by Mandy Loh

Commemorating Rainbow Baby Day

Is there anything more magical than seeing a rainbow after a storm?

I guess that’s why the term “rainbow baby” is so appropriate. It encapsulates the beauty and joy of overcoming a dark season of loss and despair. On August 22, we commemorate Rainbow Baby Day, for all who have gone through the heart wrenching experience of pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death, and subsequently found new hope and life through the birth of another child.

Image credit: undefiningmotherhood.com/rainbow-baby-day

I have walked this difficult journey myself. Back in late 2012, I suffered an early miscarriage while trying for our 2nd child. Our first pregnancy and birth had been easy and smooth-sailing, so I was really blindsided when our obstetrician gravely informed us that she could not detect a fetal heartbeat. I later learned that I had a blighted ovum, where the gestational sac and placenta developed, but without an embryo inside.

What I found most painful about the entire experience was the stigma associated with the subject of miscarriage, as if there was an unwritten rule that this was something we do not talk about. But I knew that staying silent through the sorrow was not the path to healing. I blogged about my experience right here on I Love Children, hoping that perhaps by sharing, I could help others in similar situations. Amazingly, so many friends responded to my blog post, sharing their own stories, and ultimately helping me heal as I realised I was not alone in this journey.

Commemorating Rainbow Baby day is yet another way to shatter the stigma and silence, and come together in solidarity and support for moms and moms-to-be. Greater awareness leads to better outcomes, especially in mental and emotional healing.

When we went through our miscarriage, my sweet husband tried to console me in all earnestness, saying there was technically no loss because the embryo did not even develop. Logical, but not helpful as I sobbed uncontrollably.

A mother’s hopes and dreams for her baby begin once those double lines appear. The loss is real. Even if well-meaning loved ones tell you that “it’s ok and you can always try again”, I want you to know, your feelings of sadness and despair are raw and valid. Do not feel pressured to shove your emotions down. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss. Let the pain rise from deep within, and let the tears freely fall.

Eventually, your heart and body will heal. You will have the opportunity to try again. But take the time to nurture yourself back to wellness in body, mind and spirit.

It took six months for my body and heart to heal and be ready to conceive again. Thankfully, we were blessed to become pregnant quite soon after, and welcomed our sweet rainbow baby into our family in February 2014!

Darling Caris at 2 weeks old

My rainbow baby at 9 years old now, with a rainbow ice cream cone!

I truly believe our rainbow baby, Caris, has brought about a two-fold restoration of joy and love, far greater than the loss we experienced. I hope and pray that all who walk this journey will also experience the restoration of a rainbow baby in their lives!

Have you also had a rainbow baby? Share your story in the comments, and encourage other moms who need hope for their journey!

1 Comment

Susan

October 3rd, 2023 at 1:49 am    


You touched my heart and made me cry

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