8 December 2022, by E-van and Terry

C-section is not the worst outcome

As I’m typing this, I am 37+5 weeks pregnant awaiting the arrival of our second little one. I am hoping for a spontaneous VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section) to happen anytime now but if things don’t happen, we have a C-section scheduled on 23 Nov 2022. There are risks involved when you prolong your delivery after your EDD, if you were a C-section mum before. But I’ll leave you to that if you wanna find out more.

Because my main intention here is just to say, and to tell myself that… C-SECTION IS NOT THE WORST OUTCOME. We have all been led to believe that somehow, having a C-section means we have kinda failed in that aspect of giving birth. It’s not that obvious here in Singapore I think, but it also doesn’t feel as “celebrated” enough as a natural birth. I won’t go as far to say that a C-section here is frowned upon, but it does come with a certain stigma, like it or not. I’ve gotten kind and concerned but backhanded remarks like “try to go for natural for second one…” or even “I’ve had so many children, never once did a C-section.” And I, too, get sucked into this type of conversation. My response will usually be “yes I want that too, ideally that’s what I want.

Whether or not the baby is delivered via natural birth or c-section, having delivered a life into this world is definitely not an easy feat and is worth celebrating. While ideally we might have our preferred delivery method in mind, there are many considerations to look into, especially an emergency C-section because the health of the mother, the baby or both could be in jeopardy. The ultimate goal is to ensure that both baby and mother are safe and healthy.

I just wanted to put this out here for myself, and for anyone going through a similar experience before giving birth, via VBAC or C-section. It is not the worst outcome.

Fast forward, I’m now 10 days postpartum and did I get my VBAC? No, I didn’t. I was the perfect candidate for a VBAC but things didn’t go as planned. So here’s the story. I had Braxton Hicks for a whole week and a few days, so much so that I would have them every 10 mins for almost the entire day. But on the actual day itself, it felt different and I knew that those were the real ones. I waited it out for them to get more intense through the day since 6am… I held on to those contractions till late and had Raphael sent to my parent’s home at 11pm. He was so excited about a sleepover! 😂

This was me at home, dealing with my contractions and this is Raph, dealing with his bowel movement. 😂

I tried to sleep while I was there and hopefully we’d get to the hospital in the morning the next day but at 1am, I felt and heard my water bag break. Like a small explosion in my body. And I was right, it did break. By then my contractions got so intense I had to do vocal breathing to calm myself. I told Terry, my water bag broke. He replied “can we wait till morning?” 😑😂

When we got to the hospital we were all onboard about me having a VBAC and my doctor was positive we were gonna make it work. But nope, it was the same situation as Raphael, where the baby’s heartbeat would dip every time I experience a contraction. We did all we could to relax me, with meds and then with epidural. But baby’s heartbeat still dipped.

By the time it was 7am, I was hardly even 4cm dilated and there was no benefit for either me or baby if baby stayed in there any longer. So they asked if I wanted to wait any longer and I just didn’t wanna put baby under any further stress by being in my womb. I decided to go for the emergency C-section like the doctor suggested. I could tell that he really tried to give me the birth I wanted but as the situation presented itself, there wasn’t any other choice.

Having this at the back of my mind “C-section is not the worst outcome” really drove me to make this decision quickly and I’m glad I did. Because I got to meet my sweet little baby girl, Eleanor Gabrielle Wee before 8am. She cried out loud the minute she entered the world and it was a huge relief. We got skin to skin for about 45 mins and it was the best feeling in the whole wide world.

I’m happy she’s finally out and I can say it out loud that we are now parents to two beautiful children. I am recovering well and enjoying all the newborn snuggles and diaper changes!