7 October 2022, by E-van and Terry
We are now within the woke generation and more things are being talked about. Things that usually have been left unsaid, and things that needs to be addressed. In this post I’d like to point out a few things that I may have experienced and have opinions about. I’d also like to add that I know my previous entry was pretty heartbreaking and many people felt for us, reached out to us, for the journey we went through. Thank you for all of that, I know that one was hard to read. ♥️
Well, this time I’d like to touch on some things I’ve come across that came off as insensitive or even rude, even when people didn’t mean for it to be that way. As well as why some couples choose to do things a certain way… Without further ado, let me get started on it.
Why do some couples choose not to announce?
1. Afraid, Paranoia, Anxiety
Personally, if I were to be pregnant right now, I wouldn’t rush to announce it. Not to my family, not to my friends and certainly not to the world of social media. My reasoning is simple; I’m afraid. Afraid of telling my family and friends yet again that I’m with child and afraid to tell them yet again that it’s another unsuccessful one. I don’t want these people to go through another heartbreak for me. If I do tell them, it’s because I am confiding in them in case things don’t go well again and I’ll be needing their support. I definitely do not want to be congratulated because it doesn’t feel like something I can celebrate about… as yet. It just comes with so much anxiety and paranoia that happiness and joy kinda comes in last.
2. Private Life
Another reason I’ve read from other mums is simply, privacy. Now that we are all so involved with social media in our everyday lives, announcing it feels almost natural. But there’s actually a big percentage of people who still choose to keep to their private lives and make it a choice to not announce because of privacy.
I can really relate to that because when Raphael was born, I took a long time to finally show his face on my socials. He was much too precious to me to show the world! Not that he’s no longer precious now, but I kinda eased off when we took group pictures with him and people didn’t remember to cover his face. Which made me realize I can’t control it, I’ll control what I can. So I didn’t want to be too strict about it.
Other reasons for not wanting to announce include not looking forward to deal with the questions that come with it. Questions like, “Is it a boy or a girl?” “How far along are you?” “Have you thought of names yet?” etc. I guess there are some people who really don’t like to be “interrogated”. I never knew this to be a fact to be honest, always thought it was a natural thing to ask but never expected that there would be people who feel uncomfortable being asked these.
Finally, I would like to touch on a pretty sensitive question that’s being asked nonchalantly by people, without thinking of the consequences.
“Omg, E-van! Are you pregnant??” “Is that a baby bump??” Wah, this one… Really hurts if I’m not. It is a very, very rude question to ask. If said female did not indicate that she’s pregnant, it surely is not right to assume she is. It has happened to countless of women who AREN’T pregnant… The silent awkwardness to the answer “no, I’m not” is deafening, so please don’t put yourself through that. Even if the lady is obviously pregnant to you, it is actually still not okay to ask because well, frankly, it’s just not right to comment on someone’s body. Moreover, women’s bodies go through so many changes in their lives so she could be bloated, has had a big lunch, she could be sick due to a medical condition, or the worse case is that she just lost a baby and is still carrying the extra pounds of it. So what you did could’ve easily point out their insecurities or reminded them of something extremely painful. All in all, this is just an insensitive, rude and invasive question. And truth be told, it is none of our business. So let them share when they want to, or when they’re ready – if they really are pregnant.
I guess the purpose of this entry was just to debunk some misconceptions and/or what seems to have become normal in our current society. Hopefully this post serves as a different perspective you’ve never thought of before or you could share it on your own social media platforms if you went through it yourselves before! As always, thank you for reading and I’ll see you in my next post.