14 April 2022, by E-van and Terry

If I could have a Do-Over

I thought I’d share in this post, the lessons I learned along the way, especially during Raphael’s newborn stage. If you’re a new mum or mum-to-be, this might be helpful for you!

*Disclaimer: This is based on my personal experience, trust your instincts and do what works best for you!

It seems like most people hire a nanny for their confinement period. When I gave birth to Raph, we didn’t. I forgot why, but maybe it was the cost? And you know, Ang Mohs (aka, Caucasians) don’t do with confinement nannies so I thought I could too. Hehe.

1) Confinement Nanny
Honestly, at this point, I think I should’ve gone for a confinement nanny for my firstborn but maybe not if I had a second one. The reason is, that we didn’t know then but we know now. What to expect, and how to handle newborn situations better. We learned it the hard way ourselves but we did learn anyway. It’s a good thing we went for classes before the arrival of our baby, that helped a lot.

I have heard of mums, hiring confinement nannies for subsequent births, and some who had grandparent’s support to care for the newborn baby, at the end of the day, go for what works for you and not what society thinks you should 😄

2) Don’t touch cold water
This could be a myth but I would make sure I don’t dip my hands and wrists in cold water if I were to go through confinement again. During Raph’s newborn phase I had very bad wrist problems, it was so bad that I had to go to the TCM to get my wrists fixed.

It’s called “de Quervain’s tenosynovitis” a fancy name for Tendonitis. I even tried to argue with the Chinese doctor “how come the Ang Mohs don’t have this problem, why only Chinese?” She replied, “because you are not Ang Moh. You don’t have Ang Moh blood”. 🤣 I remember that reply to this day and frankly, I think she’s right. It got pretty bad that I had to get custom made wrist guards to restrict my range of movements then. It didn’t get better until Raphael started walking and I didn’t have to carry him as much. Because tendonitis needs you to have a lot of rest and medication. You can depend on medication, but if you’re a new mum, don’t count on having rest as an option. Frequent carrying of the baby would also aggravate the problem.

3) Cloth Diapering
We introduced cloth diapers to Raph when he was slightly over a month old. We didn’t know then, that newborn cloth diapers are the best investment! We go through 8-10 diapers every day, we could have saved a lot more if we started earlier, I’m not just talking about saving money, but also the Earth by reducing carbon footprint!

In case you’d like to know, I’d go for either the traditional flats or fitted cloth diapers.

Flats are one piece of square cloth folded to become a diaper and pinned down with Snappis, a tool made of rubber and teeth to cling onto the fabric to pin it down. This can also double as blankets (very pretty blankets)!

Fitted cloth diapers are fully cloth systems with 2-3 layers of thirsty boosters, there is also a windpro version, which makes the diapers almost waterproof without any plastic layers.

4) Always File Baby’s Nails
This is applicable even now. I have to make sure Raph’s nails are always short because he has eczema and with long nails and scratching, he could easily have broken skin, and I don’t know if it’s just my son, but he keeps scratching his face. So mamas, keep trimming your baby’s nails, every day if needed!

5) Buy Fewer Baby Gadgets
Well, in the beginning, I’d always be sourcing for the next best thing to help with his constant crying, more zip-up swaddles to help him sleep, rockers, bouncers, etc.

You name it, I bought it. Safe to say that for us, nothing worked. A tip would be to buy good conditioned, second-hand gadgets or borrow from a fellow mummy friend. It’s not worth investing in something you don’t know will work, don’t be afraid of losing out because the baby market is a HUGE one.

I hope this entry helps you in some way. Remember that no one is truly prepared for motherhood or parenthood, and you might feel that you’re just being thrown into the deep end right from the start. But it will and it does get better, you’ll soon get the hang of it. Meanwhile, never say no to help! Receive it with open arms. Till my next entry, thanks for reading!