I started working when I was 14 years old. My first job was as a fast-food cashier. I remember working at least 3-4 days a week while schooling. My mum had no qualms about me doing so because we needed the money. Every cent counts. When I was in poly, I gave up to 8 tuitions a week and when I graduated, I dove right into the banking industry. I knew I would need a degree in my field, so I took up a part-time degree while working. After 10 years of working full time, I finally surrendered. I am taking a career break.

To many, this would sound ridiculous. How can I get burnout so quickly? As compared to our parent’s generations, they stuck through a job for at least 10-20 years and we change jobs every 1-2 years? Some even called us strawberry generation. Whatever it is, I feel that those who are comparing us to our parents are clearly not keeping up with society.

I have been feeling drained by everything I do since mid last year. Accompanied by the stress of conceiving, I did not go easy on myself. I decided to make a switch in my career (again) last Nov. Sadly, the expectation vs reality of the job did not align with what I was looking for and I took the leap of faith. I left without a job. The uncertainty of my future held me back for a while but my friends and John were encouraging me to leave because they could sense my unhappiness and were worried about my mental health. So I plucked the courage from god knows where and left. After returning my laptop, I remember walking out of the office smiling to myself. I felt liberated even though I am unemployed.

It’s been 2.5 weeks since and I’ve been happier. It’s as though someone lifted a rock off my shoulders. But that was temporary. As days go by, I am constantly thinking of “What’s next?”. Feels like I am incapable of letting some thoughts go. John told me to put off the job search until April but I know I couldn’t. I’m in no position to go without a job for more than 2 months. While I appreciate the break that I have now, I am also aware that I will need to secure something to feel lighter in my steps during this break.

I did a live AMA session on my Instagram recently and I have been receiving a few DMs (direct messages) sharing with me that they are on the same boat as me. It’s nice to know I am not alone and it is okay to feel this way. I have been very open about my situation because I feel that there is no reason to hide. There is no reason to feel ashamed that you have yet to find the right fit. It is very easy to put your peers up for comparison and I have suffered greatly from doing that. It is not as though my friends were flaunting anything to me. But I feel that we live in a competitive environment and inevitably, we compare. John raised a good point to me and we discussed it in The Daily Ketchup (click on the picture above to video) too. Not in his words, but he mentioned somewhere along the line of, as we grow older, no one will actually care about you more than yourself. More blatantly, nobody cares. So what if I take a pay cut and move to an easier role? Isn’t being happy more important than money and titles? Don’t get me wrong. I need the money. Money brings happiness. But at this point in my life, I’m prioritising happiness above money.

During this break, I intend to read more, exercise more and relieve myself from the pressure I’ve been giving myself. The pressure to succeed and not make any mistakes is unrealistic. No one can live up to such expectations. I am training myself to reframe in life too. Weigh what’s important to me and Marie Kondo away things that shouldn’t matter. Cut myself some slack. Life is too short to be so hard on ourselves. We are still living in a pandemic and anything can happen. As I type, 2 countries are in the midst of a war and nobody knows what can be emerged out of this bloodbath.