26 February 2021, by E-van and Terry

Dear Husband, Is Our Romance Dying?

I want to be as honest as I can for this entry. I’m not here to paint a beautiful fairytale picture like an Instagram filter. Because we live in the real world without filter. #nofilter #thatwasntneeded #butfeltcool #kmovingon

Here is the story of our life after marriage…

It was wonderful!

Life after marriage was indeed quite wonderful. We did so many things together: Go on adventures, travels, did our little own projects (like 1000 pieces puzzles), board games, Netflix and chilled with the volume the way we liked it, and the list goes on…

We travelled!

We loved our travels and exploring. The places where we really went exploring were Vietnam, Christmas Island and India. And each time we came back from travelling, it felt like our relationship was renewed, re-energised and re-centred. Let’s not forget our trip to Bali, where we climbed Mount Agung, the now “erupted countless of times” mountain. That was right after our wedding. What were we thinking?!

I can still vividly remember the pain of climbing upwards and the pain on my toes during the descend. But such great memories!

Fast forward to the present day…

ARGHHH

I don’t remember when was our last date night. I feel that it’s also the unnecessary stress that we put on ourselves which can lead to tensions between us.

I guess I’m here to say that arguments and disagreements will happen, but it’s always important to talk things out and resolve our conflicts.

What We’ve Enjoyed Doing as a Family

It’s not to say that we are just at loggerheads all the time of course! We are very happy whenever we spend family time together. Plus with the SingapoRediscover Vouchers (not an ad), we SingapoRediscovered (pun intended) Singapore Zoo, Jurong Bird Park and Universal Studios Singapore (my old workplace!). We also had a staycation to celebrate my birthday!

And of course, an impromptu family cycling day at Coney Island!

I love food, so my husband would cook up some really good food, he has improved his cooking so much (thanks to the circuit breaker period). He loves cooking for us and we love eating his food. Hehe!

Our Checklist of things to do for US

This year we want to spend more time together as a couple and make the effort to actually put time aside specially for ourselves. It is easier said than done because we have the #parentguilt to have to always be with Raphael, our child.

BUT…if we spend time making sure our marriage is happy, Raph will benefit from it too! Happy Parents = Happy Baby😁

Doing things for myself

Recently, Raphael started Playgroup. And that has given me the time to do things I love – my morning runs, a really chill breakfast and most importantly, housework.😅

Honestly I think having a neat(er) and tidy house has been good for us. When the house is a mess, subconsciously I think I’m doing a terrible job as a mother and wife so I tend to act like it too. It does not put me in the right mindset because I feel like I have lots that I’ve not done and it needs to be done. And there’s something about the mess left behind from the night before, knowing that I can set aside time in the next morning, also puts my mind at ease.

Being proud of our son

And knowing that my son is slowly adapting to school really makes me happy too. That he’s enjoying his time interacting with new friends, getting used to a new environment.

Such a champ to overcome being alone (without mummy and daddy) in a foreign place, and at the same time, such a cold turkey way to force these little ones to adapt – no thanks to the pandemic…(we couldn’t accompany Raph for the first 3 days of school…like the usual practice before the pandemic😭)

Is our romance really dying?

Well…

Besides looking for ways to spice things up (or perhaps we already have, in which you will never know🤣), the husband and I should definitely put some time aside to be together (hinting the husband), and sadly without Raphael because alone time is important for a couple.

Remember, we should always find time to spend with our spouse! Date nights or lunch dates, whatever suits your schedules! We are all so busy with our lives but we can always have time for the ones who matter most.

Remember ah, Happy Wife = Happy Life. Happy Parents = Happy Children. 😂