16 December 2020, by E-van and Terry

Plans For Baby Number 2


Is it too early to think about baby number two? Well, here’s a little fact if you didn’t already know. I grew up in a big family. My parents gave birth to five children. So there are seven of us altogether at home most of our lives. It was a rather lively environment and I guess I’m accustomed to it and I do love it because my family is quite a close-knit one.

When I was baking Raph in my oven.

So yes, we have talked about number two. Meaning we have discussed the when, the why, and the how. Let me make myself clear. We know how 😂 but I’m talking about how we are going to manage and whether we are ready. To be honest, I don’t think I will be able to manage Raph and a new baby alone, but I will try. When the next baby comes, Raph might be in a playgroup or nursery. So I think that would help me very much.

Since I’m already a little over 30 years old, fertility does come into the question. For some reason, I’ve never doubted myself about it because, if my mother can birth five children, I should be able to do that too, right? (Not that I would am thinking of having five children!)

Well, that is not exactly the right thought as fertility can’t be predicted base on your family’s genes or capabilities, because, there are so many factors that can affect our fertility. A very good example, our lifestyle or that of our spouse’s.

So what should we do to make better plans? Go for a fertility health check! Not to be used as an excuse, but to know if we can afford to delay trying for baby number two.

What if I can’t delay, would I try immediately? 
I would definitely try immediately and increase the frequency of trying, every day if possible! That was how Raph was conceived, determination! 💪

How would my plans be for Raph? 
I’m lucky that I have the help of my parents if ever needed. For now, I’ve been dropping Raph at their place before heading off to work. And thankfully, he loves being there and is very comfortable saying BYEEE to me, well most times. He starts Pre-Nursery next February so that might change the arrangement we have currently. But I’m excited for him to start Pre-Nursery as I’d like him to interact with other children and enjoy activities with his friends in school.

If we do need treatment, are we prepared to go through the process? 
We would do anything in our power and within our means to conceive so, yes, if necessary, we would go for treatment.

And I think it’s really great that the government would pump in money to help couples trying to conceive, and of course, being able to use our MediSave would help a whole lot.

Should I be ashamed of going through treatment?
First of all… We are in a completely different era where going through treatment to have a baby is less “frowned upon”, as compared to the past. I really think conception is truly a beautiful thing no matter how it happens.

And if we get unsuccessful results, it is going to be heartbreaking but, as with every surgery or treatment, there is always a possibility of things not going the way you planned. Be it something great or not. (That must be my Grey’s Anatomy binge-watching talking).

I shall end this post by saying, no matter what, there will be insensitive people who would judge our fertility capabilities BUT, we shouldn’t allow them to crawl into our minds, remember, we are never alone in this journey.

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you again in my next entry!

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