7 September 2020, by Patrina Tan

Don’t Ruin The Proposal

Hi there! Thank you for dropping by to support my first blogpost with I Love Children.

I am very excited to share on this platform and hope my story will resonate with you in some ways. And since John has written all the nitty-gritty details to our proposal in his blog, I thought I should write my perspective of it too.

We met when we were 15 and started dating when we were 18. I would never imagine that I will be marrying this guy. It was only 3 years into the relationship that I knew he is the one. We talked about our ideal age to get married (28) and intended to stick to it because of my body clock. The plan was to have a child 2 years after our marriage (currently working on it🤞🏻).

As time goes, some of our friends got engaged and I started getting suspicious on every occasion while waiting for mine to happen. I was honestly obsessed with the thought of getting proposed to. I would watch proposal videos on YouTube and fantasise about my own. What was I thinking?!

Then one incident struck me. Basically, Friend A wanted to propose to Friend B but she ruined the proposal by finding out too much about the plan. It is to the extent where she wanted to surprise him with a gift the moment he proposes. Friend A found out and postponed the proposal. From this, I learnt that the proposal does not belong to the proposee, it belongs to the proposer. It is a plan that he puts together to get the girl of his dream to say yes. No one should rob him of what he has planned.

Fast forward to Nov 2016, the day before D day. I was hanging out with my best friend, Priscilla, and again, the proposal topic came about. She did a great job hiding it from me but somehow, my proposal radar was ringing. I decided to keep shut about it just in case it is happening. I told myself that I just need to get through this weekend. If it happens, great. If not, it’s okay, John is worth the wait.

On D day, I told myself that it can’t be happening because John scheduled a haircut, we had lunch with his parents and he also told me that we were going to help out in Josh Wei’s music video in church. So I kept the suspicion to myself. And bam! Halfway down the aisle while walking towards Josh, he turned and whispered “This is it” (cue waterworks).

The sparkle in John’s eyes, the self-written song, the choir, and the presence of our friends and families made everything worthwhile. I am glad I didn’t ruin it with my curiosity and went along with everything.

If you are anticipating a proposal, I hope these points will help:

  1. The proposal is his gift to you. A surprise that he meticulously planned. He should be rewarded with the enthusiasm that he had anticipated.
  2. Keep the suspicion to yourself. By then, your friends and family would probably be part of the team already. You wouldn’t want them to be caught off-guard.
  3. Let him finish what he has to say when he is down on one knee. Do not fight what he has to say.
  4. If it feels right, say YES!

Check out John’s version of The Proposal – The plan, the process, and the afterthought here!

That’s all I have to share for my first entry. Thank you and have a great week ahead! 🙂

XOXO, Patrina


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