26 February 2020, by E-van and Terry
Extra baby rompers, check.
Wet wipes, check.
Baby blanket, check. Out we go!
*In the MRT* I forgot his socks! I’m a horrible mother! 😭
That’s a typical day for me. And now that baby Raph has started on solids, there are a lot more things to include in his diaper bag!
I’ve been bringing him out since he was born, for his monthly vaccinations to catching up with friends. But don’t be surprised, it was only in recent days that I’ve learned to relax while out with Raph. And I have to thank my sister for where I am (emotionally) today.
She is kind and nurturing, weird and simple, pretty and clean. And single! But that’s beside the point. 😏
I told her that I would always feel anxious when it comes to bringing Raph out. I honestly thought that it was normal and what every mother goes through. I’m always afraid that he would cry and become inconsolable in public and my anxiety will go through the roof!
What my sister said next was life-changing to me, all it took was a simple statement “Maybe you should ask yourself, what are you anxious about?” And the real answer is… I don’t know…
I have no idea how I became this person of constant worry, fear, and self-doubt. I have never been like that. I have always enjoyed what I have on my plate and sailed through life. This question readjusted me and helped put things in perspective for me.
What am I so anxious about? Even if he cries, what’s there to be anxious about? Do I care about what others think? Maybe I do. But I should stop letting it get to me.
And to be honest, I have been able to “rescue” him before he hits siren mode, especially now that he’s turned six months old. He gives me a fair bit of warning (by whining) before he reaches his boiling point. It takes a while to get there. I only see him in tears if I can’t get out of the shower fast enough. Sometimes when I pick him up, there are no tears. I’m sure you’ve heard “crocodile tears” or like the locals say it “fake one!” 😂 I’ll just conclude that he was complaining I was gone too long and he needs a cuddle!
So thank goodness my sister who is sweet and mostly gentle (mostly), mature and understanding, sensitive and humorous, who does social work and counselling… (and single…just saying *wink*), asked me that one question, that made me question myself.
Am I doing enough? I sure hope so…
Am I doing my best? I think I am…
And somehow it led to me learning to relax and enjoy the moments with my little bubba.
He is smiley, loves to laugh, gets ticklish and is very talkative! And he likes to be carried/cuddled. He will cry but that’s how he communicates! He’s a baby!
So if you know a mama out there who is struggling with her baby, help her out a little and remind her that ‘she’s got this‘.
Baby update: Things are getting more fun! Raphael is now 7 months old and can sit unassisted for an extended period. He puts everything in his mouth (not scary at all amidst the whole virus thing🙄), We’ve started on #babyledweaning where he gets to try solids like broccoli, pumpkin, and carrots. We are in the initial stages so most food ends up on the floor.