20 June 2019, by Flora Isabelle
So May is all about Mother’s Day – the flowers, the chocolates, the presents and the fancy dinners. Hands up if you’re a new mom like myself and you received / were expecting flowers from your child aka sent to you by your husband.
And when June comes around, even though it is supposed to be about Father’s Day and we are supposed to be honouring Dads, well we typically don’t buy the presents for our own fathers and if the husbands ask about their present, we will conveniently point to our child and say “There”.
This year is our second Father’s Day but we spent it apart – the husband was away for work and while taking on solo parenting duties, I posted this on Instagram:
View this post on Instagram
It’s Father’s Day but we are spending it apart as work calls for @haduda to fly off today. I ought to be used to his constant work travels by now… but honestly, it’s still not easy, especially when you have a toddler asking every few min “where’s papa?” 😢 #myheart Thank you for shouldering so much physical, financial and emotional responsibilities for our little family and for being the hero your mini you deserves ❤️
That night, while I bathed my boy and struggled to give myself a shower at the same time, I started missing the husband who would usually be the one bathing him and entertaining him after that while I stand (and stand and standdddd….) under the shower.
Truth is, between the husband and I, he has changed more diapers than me. He partakes in all my child-related conversations while at work and plans his after work activities around Nate’s bedtime.
“You’re not lucky,” I hear some of you say.
It’s what he’s supposed to do.
A couple of months (or years) ago, there was a popular article circulating the Internet about how fathers aren’t “helping” when they looked after the kids, after all they are as much a parent as Moms are.
Here’s an excerpt from the article,
You know what would be nice? It would be nice to live in a world where men didn’t get put up on a pedestal for “helping” take care of their children. It would be nice to live in a world where men took care of their children and it wasn’t considered exceptionally exceptional.
Pretty sure that I’m gonna ruffle some feathers but I beg to differ.
You see, I personally feel that most conventional families, the father takes on more financial responsibilities or the household and that tends to correlate to more work and money-related stress. As such, I don’t exactly believe that fathers should take on 50-50 of the diaper changing, bottle washing and sanitising, meal prepping, etc, simply because if we look at the entire picture of contribution to the household, the men probably make a significant contribution to the money, housework, cooking or some other aspect to make it 50-50 effectively in other ways.
So well, thank you my dear father to my son…
For shouldering with me through those 2-hour cycle newborn nights without a confinement nanny and heading right to work in the morning,
For the multiple trips to the kitchen for refill my water pitcher (breastfeeding makes me SO thirsty) and sometimes whipping up supper for me (and hungry too!),
For letting me be the boss of our child when it comes to schedules, play dates and when he can or cannot eat (though I know you often do not agree with me),
And well, just providing me with the mental relief that I’m not going through this arduous journey named parenthood alone…
And that is quite a lot of help already.