11 May 2018, by Mandy Loh

Reflections on Motherhood

About a year ago, a good friend asked us out for breakfast. Over prata and milo dinosaur, she started asking questions about having babies.

She had previously decided not to have any children, but was suddenly open to exploring possibilities.

Well, she asked the right person!

I cannot ever remember a time when I contemplated the possibility of not having my children!

It was an interesting conversation, as some of  her questions were something I had not thought about.

It was also a good opportunity for me to reflect on motherhood in general!

1. Why do you want to have children?

That’s a really deep and fundamental question, which I didn’t immediately know the answer to!

You see, Tim and I had always been on the same page with regards to having children, so we never had to go through lengthy discussions about the pros and cons.

But when she asked, I thought about it for a bit, and then replied

“I wanted children because it would complete our family.”

More specifically, I think that children give our lives momentum and purpose.

If Tim and I didn’t have children, what would be significantly different for us 30 years from now?

I reckon our life would be more or less the same, a bit monotonous, perhaps with more material possessions, grey hair and wrinkles?

But as parents, there are so many milestones to celebrate at each stage of our children’s lives.

From babyhood, to toddlerhood, childhood, adolescence, and finally adulthood.

And when we are in our silver years, we’d have grandchildren to spoil! 🙂

2. Did you resent the change of lifestyle when your children came along?

It is true that life as you know it would completely change when babies come into the picture.

But, I didn’t feel any resentment.

There was a period of adjustment, to be sure. But I feel that this is just a different season in my life and I relish it too, with all the mess, tantrums and illogical behaviour…

Ok, I could have less of the tantrums, but I digress…

3. Do I have to give up travelling when I have children?

The good news is that you don’t have to give up travelling!

I know lots of people who travel all over the world with baby in tow.

In Cristan’s first year of life, we went to Malaysia, Brunei, Indonesia (Bintan & Bali) and even China!

We got slightly less adventurous when Caris came along due to sheer logistics, so we kept it to simpler locations like Malaysia and the nearby Indonesian islands.

Nonetheless, we could still enjoy our holidays, albeit with very different itineraries!

A recent family holiday in Bintan

At a recent family holiday in Bintan

4. I’m afraid that I will not have the patience to handle my children.

My mum used to tell me the same thing!

But hey, I survived! ;P

And its not because my sister and I were angelic, haha!

Somehow, when you gaze into your baby’s adorable eyes and kiss those chubby cheeks, your heart will melt again and again. You will find the patience (or your inner patience) because there’s no love like a momma’s love…

and it will gush out of you from the moment you first set eyes on your newborn baby. Speak about love at first sight!

Well, fast forward to the present, and the fantastic news is, that same friend is now a proud momma of the cutest, chubbiest little baby boy!

It’s been a challenging first two months for her, but I’m glad to have been able to share in her ups and downs through Whatsapp chats.

Motherhood is definitely not easy, especially in the early days, but it is the most wonderful and rewarding journey one could ever have. It IS worth it.

ps. Happy Mother’s Day, my dear! I’m so proud of you! 🙂

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