22 September 2017, by Flora Isabelle
I’m now a mother!
The past three weeks have been really crazy – I no longer know what is sleep haha.
That being said, as tumultuous life has been, it has also been strangely, the most rewarding. Here’s how being a mother has changed me… for the better I think.
1) It’s no longer just you
Not trying to sound noble but instinctively, any shred of selfishness in you will turn into selflessness.
You’re hungry but you prioritise the little guy’s hunger above yours. My diet the past two weeks has been diminished to cold soups (they were supposed to be hot) and soggy, lumpy granola that have been soaking in milk for way too long.
You no longer “take your time” when running errands. I used to love spending time at supermarkets, slowly checking out every aisle at FairPrice but now I simply dash in, grab what I need and quickly head home to make it in time for my next pump lol. Delivery apps and online shopping are now my best friends.
I was really looking forward to getting my life (and body) back after the pregnancy but now it seems like a distant dream as I prioritise his life above mine.
2) The world suddenly seems like a very dangerous place
I used to joke that I should join NEA as my second career given my paranoia with hygiene, food preparation and anything cleanliness-related.
But this paranoia has reached a whole new level now that I’m a Mom. I wipe my phone with anti-bacterial wipes 300 times a day, I google every single thing (what’s the difference between PES, PP, PPSU bottles? Or should I use glass bottles?), I worry about the future of humanity and the kind of place he will grow up in. Do I agree with the pop music we are listening to these days? What impact will global warming have on his life 30 years later? How will the current political climate and international diplomacy shape his life?
I know, I annoy myself with my thoughts too.
3) You believe once again in things you believed in as a child
And I’m loving this whole renewal of innocence.
4) You realise that you can never love anyone this much
It’s like somebody took my heart and replaced it with five more.
Everything he does makes my heart so full. Even when he tortures me through the night. All I need is a silly smile from him and the world looks like a beautiful place again.
5) Your understanding of love changes
The husband and I didn’t get a confinement nanny and in the first few days, I was so angry with my husband. Maybe it’s postnatal blues, maybe it’s just the first-time Mom’s frustration but in the first week I cried so much, mostly when Nate cried.
But now as I see how he gives up his sleep so I can get mine, and how he placates our son with nursery rhymes and telling him to “appreciate Mommy”, I now see him and our marriage in a new way.