17 March 2017, by Flora Isabelle
Ok…not what you are thinking…I’ve gotta disclaim that I’m no marriage expert but the other I was just counting the years that the hubs and I have been married and realised we’re hitting FOUR in June! We’d met in April 2005 so this would also soon mean 12 years of dating, gosh!
By now, we are well out of the famous (or infamous) honeymoon phase and things are starting to get a little mundane. We sometimes skip the Friday date nights and prefer to stay in cause we’re too lazy to get out of the house, we know what each other is saying even before the sentence is complete and we make decisions for each other based on what we know (or think) the other party prefers.
While familiarity and routine might be a good thing, we don’t want things to get too predictable and boring. I’m a firm believer of never letting the spark die out so here are some stuff we’ve been trying to keep our marriage sizzling lol and maybe they’d work for you too?
1) Pick up new hobbies
Choose something that both of you hadn’t done before. My rationale for this is so that it can be new and exciting for both parties as well as to reduce resentment (if any) with thoughts such as “Why do I have to do this for you?”
Try something safe like art-jamming or totally whacky and out of your comfort zones like “ghost hunting” (yup, there are trails you can join in Singapore for this) – ultimately, it’s about exploring new adventures and experiences together as a couple.
2) Every day is Valentine’s Day
Don’t reserve the flowers and cards and gifts to just special occasions. Frankly I love it when I receive flowers in the office out of the blue “just because” and when I am out shopping and I see something he might like, I will get it for him even though it’s not his birthday. It need not be all about flowers and presents, I sometimes just turn to him and babble “I LOVE YOU!”… only to have him tell me he knows it’s only because he just got me food hurhur.
3) But Valentine’s Day is NOT every day
Nope, I’m not schizophrenic but my point is basically while it is important that we celebrate the small things in a relationship, it is not an excuse to ignore the special occasions. Of course you don’t have to celebrate ALL the occasions but there should be one or two a year that you guys put in an effort to make each other’s day. For the husband and me, we usually skip Valentine’s Day (he doesn’t believe in overpriced flowers) but birthdays are special for us. Even if he’s overseas for work, I’ll be sure to try to orchestrate something and likewise for him too. It doesn’t involve expensive presents but it’s the thought that matters.
4) Play tourist
Of course the most ideal is to actually go away on a holiday but sometimes, it is fun too to be a tourist in Singapore. Take the Hippo Bus just for us. Go to Sentosa and try the new attractions. Explore the nooks and crannies of Little India. Just don’t forget the sunblock 😉
5) Don’t ask how is your day
Unless you want to get ‘Fine’ as an answer.
The hubs and I have been trying this out for the past few weeks, every night we talk about 3 things: one thing that made our day, one event that was particularly difficult/ challenging, and what are we looking forward to the next day. This helps us to check in with each other and be actively involved with each other’s lives even though we spend the most of our day apart.