9 March 2017, by Siau Jiahui
Four months of maternity leave whizzed past! Before I knew it, I had to return to work very~ very~ very~ soon…
Hence, during the last two weeks of my maternity leave, I made sure that I maximised my time spent with Little T (which meant no more sneaking out of the house when she was asleep!) and reinforced the message to her that I would be spending less time with her (though I was sure she didn’t quite understand what I said). It was just my unique way of mentally preparing myself for the start of the next phase in life – a true-blue working mum.
I vividly remembered that just a few days before I went back to work, I was feeding milk to my baby girl in the living room and while looking at her angelic face, tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. The thought of not being able to feed her or carry her as much as I would want to, got me all weepy and upset. Little T had finally evolved to be more cheery and interactive by then, and deep inside my heart, I knew that I couldn’t bear not to see this adorable face as and when I would like to…
On my first day back to work, I was driving while listening to YES933, and seriously prepping myself back to working mode. As I was approaching my office, this image appeared in my mind and I started tearing again! 妈妈好舍不得你！
Oh my, how was I supposed to work like that??
But well, I had to do what I had to do! And to be honest, it was rather difficult to NOT focus on work because in radio, there are tons of tasks that demanded intense concentration within a stipulated time frame. After all, I would love to head home to my baby ASAP after clearing my work! So the saying that all working mums would increase their level of efficiency in the office? IT’S TRUE!
However, there were times when my working time was totally beyond my control or productivity level. Just a couple of weeks ago, our radio station had a series of print, online and television commercial shoots over two consecutive days, on top of our usual radio shifts. Longer working hours simply meant less time for my baby. I left the house when she was having her first feed of the day; by the time I came home, Little T was already sound asleep. I wasn’t sure if she missed me, though I kept murmuring that to her while she was in dreamland, I definitely missed her loads!
One night, while I was staring lovingly at her peaceful and adorable sleeping face, an impish thought came to mind, “What if I give her a hug right now?”
The answer would probably be a big NO-NO if this question was directed to the one who had coaxed her to sleep.
But all I wanted at that moment was my child to look at me, and lay in my arms.
So while I gingerly took her out of the cot, I wondered if I was actually secretly hoping that I would wake her up.
She opened her eyes. *GASP*
For two seconds.
And within a fraction of a second, closed her eyes and slumped her head on my shoulder.
I succeeded! And I didn’t wake her up!
I closed my eyes, gave my little darling a tight little squeeze, and savoured the moment.
The accumulated fatigue in my body melted away, and what in turn deluged me was a warm fuzzy feeling that brought a little smile to my tired face. =)