25 November 2016, by Rachelyn Gordon
Operation bald eagle…
That is what N decided to call his journey of…going bald.
He first noticed his hair loss when he was 22 years old and did not think much of losing a few strands of hair every other day. He continued overusing his favourite hair gel which now in hindsight, he recognises as being a factor that sped up the process.
It was in early 2015 when I first noticed a bald patch on his head. I personally, have grown up to realise that there are a lot of other pertinent factors to choosing a partner aside from their looks. So I decided against mentioning it to him. Then, a few months later, I was looking at a photograph we had taken together and the patch had become more obvious…
Still, I decided against saying anything until N brought it up himself.
With me confirming his fear that he was indeed losing hair at what looked to be a rather alarming pace launched him into a mission of trying to stop his impending hair loss at all cost! N tried various hair care treatment clinics and specialised shampoo brands touted to stop hair loss and it seemed to work…for a while.
Within 2016, N got promoted at work and suffered the loss of his beloved grandma. That stress coupled together with the usual everyday worries (all of which he hides really well btw. You would never in a million light years be able to tell the daily stresses this man faces. It is one of his fantastic qualities – being able to be a constant optimist and chatterbox no matter his struggles) sped up his hair loss faster than you could say AR-GEN-TI-NA.
To be completely honest, it was not a big deal to me. I was with N for the way he treated me and made me feel and I was absolutely certain that he would look fine without hair.
Unfortunately, it was not the same with N. So when I suggested going bald, his jaw dropped and he reacted in such a way that I was actually afraid to bring up the subject again.
Not knowing what to do and this being the first time I was in such a situation, I turned to older friends and my sister for advice. That was when I realised that hair, is to men what weight is to women. It really was a light bulb moment for me.
From that moment, I decided that – like when a woman gains weight – N’s struggle was deeply personal and something he had to fight and overcome on his own. All I could do was support him and offer support by highlighting his other attributes.
Slowly, N started to ask me more frequently if I really, really, really 🙂 thought he should go bald. I always responded with a firm yes and reminded him that his attractiveness included his character and ability to always make me smile.
Plus, I made sure to tell N that at the end of the day…like extra weight, it comes down to confidence. Nothing is sexier than confidence. The physical attributes of a person mean absolutely nothing if they do not have the confidence to carry it off. Take me for an example, I was about 10 kilograms lighter 10 years ago (I pride myself on an extremely steady weight gain 😉 ) and every time I bump into someone I used to know back then, they cannot help but express surprise at how “meaty” (because words like chubby and fat are considered labels and people hate being politically incorrect and omg, I could really go on all day about the sheer stupidity of this…) I have become. I often respond with a smile and say…“Yes, yes, and along with the weight both my brain and character have grown as well! Lucky, lucky me!”
Extra weight, going bald, acne, etc…they can, admittedly be difficult to deal with in today’s society but they definitely should not have any bearing on anyone. We are all so much more than our physical bodies. Qualities like kindness, strength, courage, humour are really what our loved ones will remember of us once we are gone. And I wished we emphasised this to our children and ourselves.
So after an entire year (and a little bit more) of deliberation, N finally made the leap to go bald. It was an incredibly momentous occasion for me and to be frank, I found N a lot more attractive in that moment than I ever have because of his confidence. He completely owned his decision and said “Ok, I am ready to take it all off!”
“TAKE IT ALL OFF!!!!” I roared back!
Yes, I helped with the shaving 🙂
So, I present to you now the new and improved version of my dear boyfriend, N.