30 December 2015, by Camilla Harrison
There is a famous saying that relates to having a second baby: “your love multiplies, it doesn’t divide.” Before I had Soma I wondered how I would possibly love her as much as I love my first: Siena. With every passing moment, every milestone, my heart would ache to the point of bursting with love for this little girl.
But now just eight weeks into this new adventure of being a mother of two I can attest this phrase is completely true. Somehow, incredibly, your love multiples. Your attention may divide, your energy may subtract but your love? It just grows.
Not only that but the journey is just as exciting. Even though I have been through all the milestones with Siena (first smile, first word, etc) I thought perhaps reliving them all might be a bit less amazing. So not true! They are just as heart bursting with Soma.
The night wakings? Ok, I might be happier (and much more rested) if I didn’t have to relive those but with the second I find I worry less and have so much more confidence – something I know she picks up too. I remember running (ok sprinting) to Siena’s crib anytime she would make the slightest sound. Now even though Soma may cry I know what it means and what to do. Ah, the value of experience!
Of course one thing you can’t prepare for is the dynamics that evolve between siblings. For me, I was really concerned about any jealousy Siena would experience.
Right before Soma was born I did my best to prepare Siena for Soma’s arrival. I bought all the “You’re a big sister!” books and tried to empower this little 2.5 year old to embrace the role that was looming ahead of her. Big mistake lol. The more I tried to set everything in place the worse things got. “I don’t want Soma!” “I’m the baby!” came with a forceful stomp at most of my well intentioned efforts. I cringed at the thought of what laid ahead.
Then one day, With her Soma’s birth right around the corner, I decided to just let things flow. Siena calmed down and so did I. Soon enough, Soma was home. To my surprise Siena was instantly loving and attentive. Ok, there were a few issues (“Siena, the blanket doesn’t go over Soma’s head” and “Siena, one pacifier in Soma’s mouth is enough!”) but I could tell her actions were well intentioned. The lesson here? The reality of what you experience in motherhood compared to your ideas about what you’ll experience can be starkly different! To me thats one of the most beautiful things about it: it’s a unique, organic experience, different in every corner 🙂
When I think about it, it’s just so incredible to me these two little people will grow into two totally separate personalities. At this moment I’m filled with questions like “How will their lives unfold as sisters?” and “Where will life take them?”. Questions that only time will tell!
Let this adventure (as a mother of 2) begin!