15 April 2015, by Tan Yi Lin

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

This is going to be a really short entry.

It will also be my last entry on Maybebaby.

As I’ve shared with the folks at I Love Children, when Dannie and I first started blogging in March 2010, we were more than happy to invite readers to join us on our rocky road to parenthood. We shared our challenges with fertility, meticulously recorded the events of every hospital visit, opened our hearts to hope and disappointment and finally, celebrated the joy of parenthood with our online audience.

5 years on, we have been blessed with 2 lovely daughters via IVF and our 3rd little miracle – who came so unexpectedly came into our lives – will arrive in June. While I love sharing how beautiful, sweet, smart and funny they are (and honestly, what pains-in-the-a** they can be at times – even while in-utero), this blog was never meant to be a parenting blog – but rather, to give other couples a window into our experience with IVF. That chapter in our lives has closed and it’s time for this blog to retire.

Looking back on May 2010….

Sharing on our plans for parenthood at the launch of Maybebaby.

Sharing on our plans for parenthood at the launch of Maybebaby.

A glimpse into our lives in April 2015….

Previously 4-cell embryos created in a petridish who were merely our chances at parenthood...

Previously 4-cell embryos created in a petridish who were merely our chances at parenthood…

... to 2 lovely little girls, now aged 2 and 3 years.

… to 2 lovely little girls, now aged 2 and 3 years.

 

Coco is a smart-mouthed, sassy little pint-sized drama queen.

Coco is a smart-mouthed, sassy little pint-sized drama queen.

And there's nothing cuter than seeing Claire the headstrong, tough Baby Juggernaut dress herself in rainbow-hued frills.

And there’s nothing cuter than seeing Claire the headstrong, tough Baby Juggernaut dress herself in rainbow-hued frills.

Some of the things we enjoy doing as a family...

Some of the things we enjoy as a family…

Sweating it out on Siloso beach on a sweltering, sticky Saturday.

Sweating it out on Siloso beach on a sweltering, sticky Saturday.

Belting out hits (including Let It Go, but of course) at karaoke.

Belting out hits (including Let It Go, but of course) at karaoke.

... but seriousy, sometimes we need to get away from this parenthood gig (even if it was just for 9 days and we still had to bring no.3 along at 28-weeks in-utero).

… but seriously, sometimes we need to get away from this parenthood gig (even if it was just for 9 days and we still had to bring no.3 along at 28-weeks in-utero).

I will still be here to answer any questions that you may have on IVF or any other stories that I’ve shared, so feel free to leave a comment on any of the entries.

Thank you for walking the path with us. Even though there will be no new additions to the blog, I hope that it will continue to walk you through your journey to parenthood and to your own Happily Ever After.

Yi Lin

(P.S. Just in case you’re wondering about the title, it’s just a quirky quote to mean goodbye – no reader actually gave me any fish.)

Posted on : April 15, 2015

Filed under : Uncategorized

16 Comments

Tan Yi Lin

Yi Lin

November 3rd, 2016 at 11:54 pm    


Hi Shiming, thank you for popping back into this blog to leave your comment. I can totally sense the quiet, steady confidence that you have gained over the 5 years of motherhood. Love what you said about having 1001 theories about parenthood before children arrive – and now, having perhaps none at all. When people ask me if parenting is hard, all I can say is that parenthood makes your life very full – full of joy, full of frustration, full of emotions from the whole spectrum, full of energy, full of activity (just not enough of sleep, haha!) My life is full of Life – how does that sound? (I just came up with that!) Enjoy motherhood, enjoy having your wonderful helper, enjoy your family – ups, downs, everything. All the best in this wonderful journey 🙂

Shiming Ong

October 24th, 2016 at 12:38 am    


Hi Yi Lin!

I was there during the maybebaby May 2010 event! I found out I was pregnant in Oct that year and started following your entries and Mandy’s. Our number 1 were born ard the same time, we shared the same challenges as first time mum!

I love ur entries especially the entry on sisters in motherhood. How we should share and not compare, respect and not inspect. I was the reader who left a comment on that entry who was critisized for hiring a helper to cope with number 2 (WTM).

Fast forward 2 yrs, I just extended my helper work permit, my son just celebrated his 2nd birthday and no. 1 is already 5! Am glad I am blessed with a helper who dotes on my son. So I could bring my daughter to hospital at 5am in the morning when her fever went up above 40°C while my helper took care of my son at home when my husband was on overseas work trip.

After surviving 5 yrs of motherhood, I learned to stand up for my decisions as a mother. I learned to love myself so I can love my children. Every child and every mother is different. Before kids, we may have 1001 theories, after kids maybe none. Basically, don’t be too hard on ourselves, bending a few rules we set is ok if bending these rules keep us sane! I learned to enjoy motherhood and cherish the short childhood my kids have.

Hope you are doing great with ur 3 beautiful princesses! 😊

Hanna

December 23rd, 2015 at 9:59 pm    


Ooh.. I’ve been following ur blog too.. the only 1 on maybebaby that I’m reading heh.. from ttc to having a 2yo son now.. who was also created on a petridish.. thx for being such a blessing and in sharing so candidly about ur journey.. love ur humor and all ur entries.. cheers 🙂

Tan Yi Lin

Yi Lin

June 12th, 2015 at 4:07 pm    


Hi Hopeful,

I’m sorry to hear that things didn’t work out – for now. As cliche as it sounds, time does heal. As cliche as it sounds, when you fall, you only have a few options – to remain fallen, to get up and angrily fault the ground for tripping you up, or to just accept that you fell and continue walking. The solution is in the attitude that you choose to adopt. For us, we refused to accept that it was Game Over. It was simply Stage Failed. We could either choose to end the game – or to retry the stage.

I do think that the hospital should have prepared you for the change in doctor. However suddenly, unexpectedly or urgently the decision had to be made for a stand-in doctor, they should have had the courtesy and consideration to tell you first – even though wasn’t likely that you could have postponed the ET and waited for your doctor to come back. You have the ability to change the way the hospital works by giving them feedback on this.

By all means, ask your Dr why he wasn’t there. But there’s no point in being angry about it. No one will ever know why the ET didn’t work out. My doctor simply said that it could be due to egg quality that my first ET failed. And yet, the subsequent frozen ET using presumably poorer quality embryos succeeded.

Another thing – I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on what I read on forums. Everybody’s experience is different. Rave reviews about one doctor or whether you’ve heard of one doctor over another aren’t everything. I avoided reading forums altogether – what purpose do they serve in this case? It’s not the same as reading a product review on Qoo10, is it? There is no standard product here to rate. In fact, one reader mentioned in an email to me that it was rumoured that my doctor had “shaky hands”. This is after i had 2 successful ETs with her and was waiting for try for no.3. I was so SO MAD that she dared to tell me that – to what benefit? For what? Just for the fun of sharing some forum gossip? I told her off and never wrote to her again. In short, your mental and emotional state when it comes to IVF is up to you to determine. Cut out the senseless chatter. Block out poisonous words. Focus on building a positive and sensible attitude together with those closest to you who are wholeheartedly supporting you in this journey.

Oh, and rant away. It helps clear the mind and the soul 🙂 Hope you’re feeling better.

Hopeful

June 5th, 2015 at 4:39 pm    


Hi Yi Lin,

it’s Hopeful again. Just to update, my first fresh cycle failed – just got confirmation of BFN after blood test yesterday 🙁

It started out so promising – i had 15 eggs retrieved by Dr Tan, and 8 fertilised, but on the ET day, i was shocked to be told (literally with my pants down awaiting the transfer) that Dr Tan was on urgent leave so Dr Lau would be doing the transfer instead. Was more than a little alarmed cos although i’d read rave reviews about Dr Tan, i had barely heard of Dr Lau. Anyway, he transferred 2 embryos – i didn’t have a choice right?

Just 8 days post transfer, i got my period 🙁 You know the drill – see a few spots, keep praying it’s just “implantation bleeding” and will dry up, but instead the bleeding gets heavier and heavier, until you’re forced to face reality that this is AF, and a particularly heavy one too. I cried buckets for first two days.

Could only go for the blood test yesterday (6 days after first bleeding), where the BFN was confirmed.

I know you faced this too, with your first fresh cycle. How did you pull through? Did you ask your doctor many angry questions at the review session? I have so many questions which i want to ask Dr Tan – why didn’t this work? why weren’t you there at my ET, etc.

Sorry to rant.

Tan Yi Lin

Yi Lin

June 3rd, 2015 at 2:08 pm    


Thanks, jieyingz 🙂 Yesss, have yet to deliver… baby doesn’t wanna come out yet!

jieyingz

May 25th, 2015 at 3:08 pm    


going to miss your entries!!! always love your posts and how much encouragement it give in the parenting journey. all the best for your delivery! and big hugs to you and your girls!

Tan Yi Lin

Yi Lin

May 5th, 2015 at 11:14 am    


Hi Jeanie Grace,

Wow, you were at that talk in 2010? I still remember my mum going, “Hah? No children yet how to talk about parenting? Talk about what?” And how I told the audience that we were taking the plunge into parenthood – only to be corrected on stage by Dannie that HE was doing the plunging! *cringe*

Thanks for sharing our journey with us. Don’t give up – be it doggedly chasing that dream through ART or letting the chase take a backseat for now and giving yourselves the time and space to consider your options. Wishing you all the best.

Hi Hopeful,

Ah, exciting times! I remember being very impatient and actually looking forward to every step of the IVF cycle. It’s a big step to take and in some strange way, it feels good to put your energy into making things happen – and yet, it all still boils down to the luck of the draw. Don’t worry about how many times you should try yet – just go for it and see what happens. You can always decide later. No point stressing over it now. Good luck 🙂

Hi Naz,

Thanks for the lovely note and well wishes. Yes, will keep smiling – either because I can’t help but laugh along with the girls (and the husband) or because I’m reminded to (“Mummy, are you happy? Then can you smile please? Don’t look so grouchy.” Jeez. Thanks.)

Naz

May 4th, 2015 at 1:05 pm    


Hi Yi Lin,

I have been a silent reader for sometime. Its really sad to know that you are saying goodbye now 🙁
anyways, thank you for all the posts and sharing with us the stories of your struggles, smiles and laughter. I wish you a smooth delivery and keep smiling. Take care 🙂 you will be missed.

Hopeful

April 24th, 2015 at 9:05 am    


Hi Yi lin,

I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog entries.

I’m gg to start my first cycle at kkh, with dr tan hh in may. I’ve had to wait 3 months (my first consult was way back in feb!) so I’m like “finally!”. But at the same time I’m also starting to worry, what of it doesn’t work? How many times shd we keep trying before calling it a day?

Jeanie Grace

April 23rd, 2015 at 1:47 pm    


Hi Yi Lin

I am really sorry to hear that you’re retiring this blog! Just want to thank you for always making time for it. Can’t believe how time flies. I was at that same talk you and Dannie first spoke at, and I have been following your blog since. Admired how you guys’ “put your hand to the plow” and 5 years later, parents of 3 – it has been a miraculous journey. Really appreciated all your entries and replies to my blog posts too.

I am not keen to continue ART after 1 fresh and 1 frozen cycle. Chances may be low but I do hope to conceive naturally someday – see how it goes.

Yes, please drop in when No 3 arrives!

God bless you and your family in the days ahead. 🙂

Tan Yi Lin

Yi Lin

April 23rd, 2015 at 10:27 am    


Hi Celine,
Thanks for the note and well wishes 🙂

Hi Sidney,
Haha, I can definitely empathise with having your hands full! Thank you for reading my blog despite your busy schedule. Wishing you all the best with your little ones too 🙂

Celine

April 21st, 2015 at 9:48 am    


Hi Yi Lin

Thanks so much for sharing on Maybe Baby for the last 5 years! It has indeed been a journey for all of us. I’ve enjoyed reading all your posts, sharing the ups and downs.

Wishing you the best for the 2 girls and number 3! Keep us posted when baby comes 🙂

Regards
Celine

Tan Yi Lin

Yi Lin

April 20th, 2015 at 2:44 pm    


Hi kk,

Thank you. Really nice to have received a note from a reader! Thanks for following our story and I hope it helped you with you IVF journey in some way or other – even if it was just to make you smile. Cos, well, what is life without any humour, right? Even if we ended up making babies in a lab instead of in the bedroom. Whatever works, man!

Thank you for the well wishes. Maybe I’ll drop in again on this blog just to share the good news when no.3 arrives 🙂

Take care!

Sidney Soh

April 17th, 2015 at 11:41 pm    


Hi Yilin, I used to read your blog. In fact, I only read yours in Maybebaby. I didn’t go through IVF, but our 2 bigger kids are slightly about the same age. I have enjoyed your earlier blogs but as I have quite a handful on hand with my kids. After not following your post for a while, today I saw your 2 girls’ photos, oh they are sooo cute!

kk

April 15th, 2015 at 1:25 pm    


Hi Yilin!

I feel a sudden loss! I’ve been your silent reader the past 2yrs, when i started my ivf journey. I enjoyed all your posts…they r candid with twist of humour. I find myself looking forward to your posts whenever i visit this website.

I wish u all the best and a smooth delivery! U will be missed…

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