22 January 2015, by Tan Yi Lin
(Warning: This entry contains mostly rambling. I started writing it without knowing where it’s heading.)
Recently, I’ve been getting an itch.
No, not that strange itch that has suddenly plagued my torso, which according to Baby Center, could be either pruritic urticarial papules and plagues of pregnancy (PUPPP) or prurigo of pregnancy (PP)… I know right?! Pruri-WHAT? That’s something that I would need to check with my gynae when I see her next week. Hopefully it’s just a common rash brought upon by our fast-heating up January weather after the lovely, cool December we had last year.
The itch that I’m referring to is from within. I was lamenting to Dannie and a friend that I had nothing to blog about beyond household, school and pregnancy matters. Female colleagues who have noticed the unmistakeable baby bump have called me an inspiration for courageously having a third child while trying to find equilibrium in this constantly swinging pendulum between work and family.
But. I feel far from being an inspiration to others and instead credit the bulk of my parenting capabilities to 24/7 family support, competent teachers and of course, Dan. Consequently, I don’t feel particularly enthusiastic about blogging about snippets from our parenting routine.
The usual disciplinary episodes with one kid in her Tiresome Threes and another launching head-on into her Terrible Twos, despite having a few months to go before her 2nd birthday. (I feel tired just thinking about writing about these.)
Meals for children. (Sorry, I don’t cook so I don’t have recipes to share. The girls eat 2 -3 nice, balanced meals in school. Claire likes porridge for dinner and Coco, macaroni in soup. That’s all.)
Activities for young children (Plenty of blogs on that out there).
Product reviews. (No thanks. In fact, shopping for and having to make baby-related purchases is rather tedious).
Pregnancy (As this has thankfully been very uneventful, there really isn’t much to write about).
Don’t get me wrong. I love being pregnant and savour every tiny movement that I feel within. I treasure the precious moments with the girls during these fleeting childhood years. I constantly quote and re-quote their funny sayings to anyone who would listen – the latest being Coco’s dramatic wail of “My poop won’t come out. WHAT’S HAPPENED TO ME?!?!” that rang shrilly through the house at 8am. I enjoy my day in the office – for both the work and social aspects. I appreciate how organised our daily routine is (for now – until no.3 arrives). We like being outdoors with the girls on the weekend. We have much-anticipated vacations lined up for February and March. We can expect substantial changes when we move into our new place next year.
And yet, life feels so… blah. While parenting in itself is one of life’s big adventures – and I am grateful that ours has been a smooth ride thus far – surely there has to be something more than just living out this daily routine of work / school, household matters, weekend activities and the occasional family vacation?
I feel the need to plan for something epic to work towards and look forward to. Beyond having a new house. Beyond the next family holiday. Beyond primary 1 registration.
I’ve expressed interest to my employer to take up a scholarship offer for a master’s degree and have mulled over which overseas university to enrol in – but I waver over how I’m going to study and handle 3 young kids overseas on our own. Maybe we’ll wait a couple of years until my dad retires so that my parents can come along – if they want to.
Yes, plans certainly are uncertain. But I guess that’s where the fun is because uncertainty means possibilities. Also, uncertainty of this nature is actually quite a luxury to be savoured because it means that we have our basic needs and routine down pat, and are able to freely explore what more we can squeeze out of life with kids.
A few months back, I picked out a geeky birthday present for myself – an inflatable globe depicting the world map. Dan gets very worried whenever he finds me sitting quietly turning the globe back and forth between my hands, and scrutinising the country maps. If a single book could set off a year-long backpacking stint in the Americas, he can pretty much expect this $9.90 item from a toy store to spin off (pun intended) another crazy idea from his wife.
He was right (but of course!) My dream is that at some point in the future, we would head (far up) north on a second instalment of ‘GO’, where we’d explore the northern ring of countries comprising Russia, Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Greenland, Canada and Alaska in the USA, before winding our way back down to the Equator via California, Hawaii and Japan. I’ve even named this epic trip ‘GO: The Polar Ring’. It would take 6 months – or more. The 3 kids would come with us. We would have to start squirreling a good part of our salaries now to fund this mega trip.
Crazy? Or not?
Will we actually do it? While I certainly hope so, I don’t know for sure if I can pluck up the courage to make it happen. Still, no harm in dreaming up big possibilities for ourselves, is there?
We’ve come to the end of this pointless entry and I’ve still no idea where we’re heading. The roads are pointing us in all directions – the possibilities of life with kids are endless. I guess that’s exactly the point after all.