28 August 2014, by Kelvin Ang
Parenting can require a superhuman level of effort.
It can be like facing the villains from the Marvel AND DC universe all at once or having to take down the entire army of foot soldiers (and Shredder). Because I have often wondered where my kids get their paranormal strength, screaming fits and energy from. But yet, we parents also have abilities to combat these super villains.
True, we parents have not benefited from being bitten by radioactive spiders, or being the last son of Krypton but that is not to say we do not have power. On the contrary, our dormant superhero genes are awakened the moment our child is born. Come to think of it, my own mother had the “eyes in the back of her head” superpower when I was growing up.
So yes, there are many other types of parenting superpowers out there. Which parenting superhero are you?
1. Super Hearing. We can hear the slightest cry when we are showering in the bathroom, or even if they were on the 20th floor of a high-rise building. Of course, that would also mean we can pick up the slightest of sounds when the baby stirs in the middle of the night. Luckily for us Dads, we do not seem to have this superpower.
2. Superhuman Agility. It only takes one time stepping on a LEGO brick or Hot Wheels toy car before we learn how to navigate through the toys on the floor.
3. Telepathy. There is a mental connection between parent and child. It usually involves the child stealing a fear from the parent, and implementing it with brutal accuracy. How else will we know that our child is going to wake up the moment we sit down for a rest, or whine about wanting a Princess Elsa doll while walking through Toys ‘R’ Us?
4. Spider Sense. Just like Spider-man, our sense of danger usually tinkles when we already know that our child will spill his drink a split second before the hand swipes the cup. Or when the kids have been quiet for far too long.
5. Super Smell. We can smell the first wafts of whatever that comes out of our kids’ bottoms, even when they are a few metres away.
6. Healing Touch. When our child wakes up in the middle of the night crying and complaining of pains in the body, we do the magic healing rub on him and get him back to bed quickly enough. All these, without having to fully awaken ourselves.
7. Sonic Booms. A single yell of “Go to Bed NOW!” or “STOP it right NOW!” is enough to make everyone stop dead in their tracks, and the children cower in fear.
8. Mind control. Just the widening of the eyes will be able to convey the message of “Just wait til we get home” and in some cases, powerful enough to our kids stop whatever wrongs they are doing.
9. Teleportation. Scrambling to three different schools to drop off the kids, including peeling off that clingy toddler and running for our lives, and still be at work by 9am with a coffee in hand. How do we do it? There can only be one reason.
10. Super Strength. Step aside, Hulk. Carrying 2 sleeping kids while pushing another pram after a day out at Disneyland back to the hotel has got to count for something.
So, what is your Superpower?