26 June 2014, by Mandy Loh

Surviving sans Support

Its been a week since the in-laws left, and I’ve SURVIVED as a mom of two young kiddos, without any additional help! Just give me a minute while I glow with pride! 😀

I know that many experienced (and amazing) moms, who have been doing this for years, may be thinking – “So what? Big deal!” But hey, it IS a big deal to me, and we should celebrate our small victories and accomplishments along the way, shouldn’t we?

Before the in-laws went home, I was pretty anxious and even a little bit scared about handling two babies on my own for most of the day. But I realised something – fear of the unknown is usually a bigger monster than reality. Its really not that difficult if you take things a day at a time. Or even, sections of a day at a time. You just have to take a deep breath, pray, and then knuckle down to it.

Here’s roughly how each day pans out – on a GOOD day:

7am – 8.45am:

• Wake up, hoping to wash up before Cristan wakes
• Cristan wakes before I have a chance to wash up/ in the midst of brushing my teeth
• Prepare breakfast and then struggle to get Cristan to actually eat it
• Finish washing up and getting ready to head out, while Tim continues coaxing Cristan to finish his breakfast
• Morning wash-up for Caris: wipe face, change diaper
• FINALLY leave the house

9am – 9.30am:

• Drop Cristan off at playschool, and then send Tim to office

10am – 12.30pm:

(Not necessarily all of the below in a day)

• Grocery shopping (once or twice a week)
• Prepare ingredients for dinner, get soup boiling. (Yep, I start dinner preparation in the mornings!!!)
• Kids’ laundry (twice a week)
• Grab lunch for myself (usually leftovers from yesterday’s dinner)
• Nurse Caris, change her diaper

1pm – 1.30pm:

• Pick Cristan from playschool – with Caris in tow. A simple pick-up becomes so much more logistically challenging when you have an infant-in-arms. I cannot leave her in the car by herself, because if I leave the engine running, there’s a risk that someone could drive the car away. If I switch off the engine, she might get heatstroke (especially in our current heatwave). So I have to get her out of her car seat, carry her into the playschool, sign Cristan out, and then put both kids into their respective car seats. So yep, it takes about half an hour to get this done!

1.30pm – 3pm: 

• Short playground time for Cristan (15-20 min)
• Shower & snack for Cristan
• Nurse Cristan to sleep, then nurse Caris to sleep

3pm – 5pm:

• BLISS as both babies nap! I usually take the opportunity to rest during this time as well, and even if I don’t nap, I have to be physically near them in the room as one or the other will occasionally stir/ fuss, and I have to soothe the one before the other gets woken up.

5pm – 6pm:

• Head out with two still-sleeping babies to pick Tim from office. The first time I had to do this, I didn’t plan well enough beforehand and ended up actually carrying BOTH kids in my arms. It was the craziest thing…I couldn’t even open the car door properly! Wisening up, I now put Caris into the stroller and carry Cristan in my arms.

6pm-7.45pm:

• Cook dinner
• Have dinner, and feed Cristan (if we let him feed himself, he will eat only what he likes and leave the majority of food untouched)
• Wash dishes
• Bathe Caris while Tim continues feeding Cristan

8pm – 9.30pm:

• Cristan’s TV time (1 hour) while having fruit
• Put Caris to bed (usually by 8.30pm after nursing)
• A quick shower for me
• Get Cristan ready for bed (brush teeth, change into PJs, read storybook)
• Nurse Cristan to sleep

Bear in mind, this is on a good day when things go according to plan. And as you know, with young kids, that almost never happens! But I just deal with things as best as I can – sometimes letting Cristan watch a bit more TV than I’d like, or having to let one cry for a bit while I’m busy with the other.

It’s only been a week, and I’m sure more challenges are up ahead – especially when Caris starts weaning at 6 months! *Gasp* But as I’ve learnt, take each challenge as it comes! No point worrying and fretting about the future; each day has enough trouble of its own!