13 March 2013, by Mandy Loh
Contrary to my previous blog entry about my blighted ovum miscarriage being over in December, it actually wasn’t. In fact, I only received the all-clear from my doctor last Friday! (To cut a long story short, the gynae was bothered by my unusually thick uterine lining, and we had to induce bleeding another 2 times before the lining looked normal again.) It took 5 frigging months for everything to clear out, but we’re relieved its finally over, and Tim and I can officially start trying to conceive again!
Now that we’re physically ready, we started having some serious conversations over the weekend about being mentally ready for #2. As you already know, we didn’t have to think too hard about having Cristan, because he came along rather quickly and unexpectedly. So it’s really the first time the two of us have had a chance to discuss issues like timing, and whether we would be able to cope with having a second child.
Although both Tim and I are very keen to have Doubbles (we already have a nickname for #2!), we are a little concerned about finances, as well as the day-to-day practical challenges of caring for two young children. As much as possible, we will try to continue living without a domestic helper, which means that when Tim’s at work, I will have to manage everything at home myself!
I’ll openly confess that at this moment, I’m really not confident of my ability to handle an infant, and an increasingly demanding toddler, on top of preparing daily meals for the family, all on my own. I know that millions of women out there, past and present, have been able to do much more than this, but to me, it still sounds like a pretty tall order! My hands are already quite full with caring for one currently, and I don’t know where I’ll get the spare bandwidth to handle a new baby!
At the same time, as I look back on the past 2 years, I marvel at how much I’ve stepped-up in my parenting journey. I can still remember the uncertainty I had felt when I was pregnant with Cristan, worrying whether I would be a good mom. But as each day passed, I grew more confident and competent, and gradually, I was able to fulfill the requirements of my “job”.
So I believe in the same way, even though I cannot envision it right now, my capacity as a mom will increase when the time comes, and (hopefully) I will be able to rise to the occasion.
Just to share, our preliminary game plan is to enlist the help of my in-laws for the first 3 months of Doubbles’ arrival, so that there will be more hands on deck in those hectic first few months. Thankfully, Cristan will be attending nursery by then, which means I would only need to survive a few hours of mayhem every afternoon with both kids at home, before reinforcements arrive (ie. Tim returns from work).
I’m sure it’ll all work out eventually…right? Right??? Wwll, wish us luck nonetheless! (P.S. Some reassurance from moms who have been there and done that would be greatly appreciated!!!)