6 October 2012, by Tan Yi Lin
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words after I wrote about the loss of Twin B.
It’s been two weeks since the ordeal. While unforgettable, we have found the strength to move on from it (at least, for now, until I receive another sweet comment from a reader saying how my entry made them cry, which makes me tear all over again!)
We took some time off work last week to bring Coco to the zoo (where she liked the water play area more than the animals) and to Universal Studios (which she hated), and even had a short staycation on Sentosa.
While the activities were pretty tiring, and probably not the best thing to do after a miscarriage, it was a good way to get out of the house and prevented me from moping in bed. Earlier this week, my in-laws took Coco under their wing for a few days so Dan and I enjoyed some quality couple time in the evening after work. Even though our definition of “quality couple time” turned out to comprise shopping for Coco’s new bed at Ikea, and getting a haircut and eating mee pok at Changi City Point, it was really nice just hanging out as husband and wife.
I was due for my next scan on Friday 5 October.
The term Happy Friday was coined by one of my lovely readers whom I’ve been exchanging emails with. She pointed out that my Fridays had a track record of being awesome, as I had received the good news that I was pregnant, and that we were having twins, both on a Friday. She would drop me a note on Friday now and then to say hello and TGIF!
Then came the blackest Friday of our lives. When we found out that we had lost a baby.
Yesterday, the dear girl emailed to say that she hoped that my faith in Happy Fridays had been restored. I also received phone messages from friends saying all the best for the scan and after that, asking how it went. I am really very, very touched that so many people remembered how important this Friday was for us.
I hadn’t experienced any cramps or bleeding thus far, so I was hoping for that to be a good sign that my body was doing its job and that little Obi-wan Kenobi (aka The Baby Formally Known As Twin A) was doing well. All I wished for was to see ONE baby that had shown good growth and ONE beating heart.
And I would be happy.
Well, dear readers, we’re overjoyed to update that the baby, now 12 weeks and 4 days old, and measuring almost 6 cm, is doing fine. We even saw the little one bounce on its water bed, kick up a leg, lean back on one arm and suck its thumb.
All the cuteness aside, the relief that coursed through our veins when we saw its beating heart was immense. The dating scan showed its estimated due date as 18 April 2013. We still could see the remaining water bag and foetus, still measuring 3 cm. Once again, the sonographer searched for a heart beat and keyed in “NO F.H.”, but this time, no tears flowed. Doctor S reassured me that the water bag and dead foetus would be reabsorbed in time and that there was no need to worry. After all, 3 cm, in the grand scale of things, was tiny. She said that the scan results showed that the pregnancy was very likely to have stablised and that we could consider ourselves “safe”. As usual, Dannie cracked a few jokes and we left happy, a peal of laughter echoing throughout the room. So different from our last visit.
My Fridays were awesome once more. Happy Fridays are here to stay.
My one and only wish had come true: my baby was going to be OK.
Which brings me to my next point: My Birthday
As September drew to an end and we crept into October, I didn’t dare think that I would be in the mood to celebrate my birthday, barely two weeks after suffering the miscarriage. “Happy Birthday” didn’t seem to hold any more meaning for me. But I thought about it and decided that, despite the heartbreak, I do indeed have wonderful blessings to celebrate, so we’ve planned for some little celebrations with friends and family this weekend.
As for my birthday wish, I’m channeling my birthday luck to everybody I know who is trying for a baby. Especially a good friend of mine, who is due for a very important pregnancy-related procedure soon. I can’t share the details here but trust me, it would mean the world to her – and me – for it to succeed.
There really is such a thing as birthday luck. It’s no ordinary luck.
Case in point: My friend was strolling along Clark Quay after his birthday lunch and he came across two Sri Lankan crabs, pincers bound in rope, teetering along the riverfront. Apparently, they were a pair of escapees from a nearby seafood restaurant, who walked straight into the birthday boy’s path. Needless to say, my friend scooped up his free gift of free-range crabs, brought them home and fried them for dinner. Free birthday feast, courtesy of a well-known seafood restaurant. And he didn’t even need to present a discount voucher.
See? Birthday luck is special.
As for the poor crabs, it obviously wasn’t either of their birthdays that day!
Good luck, everyone! May all your wishes come true.