5 September 2012, by Dannie Cho
Bagging It
“Learning is a lifelong journey.”
How many times have we heard this before? In fact, I daresay that it’s been said so often that it has become cliché. So much so that we say it but don’t really dive deeper into its meaning.
Learning, my friends, come from two sources. One, you learn from experience. Two, you learn because someone told you so. Let me illustrate with examples.
Learning From Experience
This happened when I was still in school. And you know, school, for me, was more than half a lifetime ago. It was in the middle of a boring Maths lesson (all Math lessons are boring until you finally grasp the use of algebra). I decided to raise my hand while the teacher was talking. Not because I had a question, but because I am bo-liao like that. Teacher turned to me. “Yes, Dannie? You have a question?”
Well, I didn’t have a question because I had no clue what she was talking about for the past 20 minutes, so I decided to ask for permission to visit the toilet instead.
And off I gleefully went. Escaped from class. Breathed in deep, for the air outside the classroom was so much better than the air inside. Then I got to the toilet. Sauntered over to my favorite urinal, unzipped my shorts, took out my photon cannon, then realised that there was a small flying insect in sitting in the urinal.
“Huh. You little bugger. Sitting in my favorite urinal right! YOU’RE GONNA DIE!”
And then I kek-ed and fired off, fully expecting the full force of my pee to hit the insect directly on the head and knock it senseless. Dizzy, it would tumble and crash to the bottom of the urinal, where the rest of my pee AND the flush will wash it down the drains.
By now, I’m sure most guys are already nodding in sympathy. They already know what happened next.
The insect DID NOT get knocked out. It shrugged off the initial onslaught and flew upwards, trying to maintain altitude. Panicking, I aimed higher, futilely trying to bring it back down. It escaped the confines of the urinal, buzzed around me, and LANDED ON MY FACE.
Cringe.
I was still peeing, and I didn’t want to just use my sleeve to wipe it. It would just leave a urine smear on my cheek, right? Shook my head violently in an attempt to dislodge it, but failed miserably. With a sinking feeling, I realised how full my bladder actually was…
Once done, I rushed to the tap to wash my face over and over again. The offending insect flew away, chuckling at how it turned the tables on the nasty human that tried to drown it.
And that is how you learn from experience.
Learning Because Someone Told You So
Learning because someone told you so is usually not as traumatic as learning from experience. But a major disadvantage is that the lessons that others teach just take that much longer to internalise. Of course, there are times when you get it straightaway, but more often than not, you need repetitive behaviour (like homework) to drive the lesson in. Or maybe you could associate it with something easy to remember, like how the colours of the rainbow are basically a story about how my best friend ROY Gave Birth In Vietnam.
Well, whatever the case, I guess someone remembered my lesson on one of my earlier entries very well!
The wife and I had just put Coco to sleep the other night. We were checking and clearing messages/emails/games on our phones when she suddenly asked me.
“Baby ah. Which bag is nicer ah? Bengawan Solo or Takashimaya?”
Takashimaya or Bengawan Solo?
“Huh? Bengawan Solo lah. We don’t even like going to Orchard Road.”
“Or how about Laurent Bernard? (Who???) Canele?”
“Whatchoo talking about, woman? I trying to form a bingo on Words with Friends and you are distracting me with questions like these?”
Well, apparently, somebody’s husband was about to submit his semen for IUI, and which paper bag to put the all-important biohazardous bottle has now become the subject of debate!
Well, I reasoned that a Takashimaya bag would probably look the most out-of-place at KKH. So that one’s out. The food bags will look more natural, because people are visiting others at the hospital all the time, and nothing cheers a Singaporean up like food, right? But I reckoned that Bengawan Solo would look the most natural, because there are so many branches around. It’s just more believable that you popped by Bengawan Solo to buy a birth pressie than to Canelé or Laurent Bernard. Right?
But I suppose that friend’s husband is a little classier than I gave him credit for. He went with Canelé.
And Canelé was chosen!
Darn. My student is all grown up and making his own choices now. Makes a teacher proud.
*sniff*
Posted on : September 5, 2012
Filed under : Planning For Baby
2 Comments
Dannie
September 11th, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Hi Canele,
Thanks for leaving my first comment since forever! 🙂
Yeah, Yi Lin did pass on your suggestion to me. But mine is a really no name no brand paper bag, used to promote some medical instruments or something. But I suppose this gave the sperm some familiarity with the instruments used for the procedure?
Who knows!
Anyway, I also heard that you are taking a holiday since your attempt did not work out. I salute your attitude! 🙂
Canele
September 6th, 2012 at 12:50 am
Well, as a public service message to all the readers out there, CANELE DIDN’T WORK! *wail* FYI & NA
Hahahaha…hilarious post Dannie!
I was telling Yilin that you should put your own bag out for rent…should be able to get 3x the original price based on its track record.