29 March 2011, by Tan Yi Lin

Talk Time

As my belly takes on a more pregnant shape (as opposed to looking like a paunch or beer belly), the realisation that there’s a growing foetus in there that is fast developing into a real live child is starting to sink in.

With that, I feel an urge to start bonding with my belly  – and the little life inside – now that I can see it growing visibly bigger week by week. Feeling the bump up is one way, but while it’s nice to discover new curves each time, the connection is a merely skin-deep. In fact, I try not to get into the habit of touching myself because I think pregnant women subconsciously fondling their bellies in public look… weird. It’s as if they’re enthusiastically rubbing a giant crystal ball and expecting a 20-cent fortune to pop out on a printed card from their clothes or something.

Talk About It, Talk About It…

So I tried talking to the baby but once I started, I was at a loss for words and conversation topics. Besides, “Hi there baby, how’s life in there?”, I don’t quite know what to talk about. I can’t ask what it learned at school today or who is its best friend or what it ate for lunch (cos obviously it’s the same as what I ate for lunch.)

Dan’s not bad at making casual conversation with the bump. In fact, he’s good at making up random topics, like telling the baby how much Grandfather likes jiving to Funky Town on the Kinect and how Grandma is cool in a quiet and steady sorta way. He reads to it too, but since we don’t have children’s books at home, and we can’t remember nursery rhymes very well, the baby gets a massive dose of Star Wars, which all sounds like Greek – and geek – to me.

I’m actually jealous of Dan for being able to put his face and mouth so close to the baby. Even though I’m technically physically connected to the baby – more so than he is – I would never in my life be able to put my lips on my belly, whisper to my child and send it kisses every night. Talking across one’s chest and stomach is a very strange feeling indeed. It makes me feel so far away. So in order to feel closer to my audience, I came up with the ingenious idea of…making a cup phone!

Remember this? 🙂

So for the next few days, I happily talked and sang to the baby through our special telephone. My song repertoire is seriously challenged, so I hope it’s not getting too sick of Pop Goes the Weasel and Hush Little Baby just yet. I especially love the Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin version of Hush Little Baby, so I sing it alot. (There’s also the more age-appropriate nursery rhyme version but the creepy little children’s voices freak me out.) It’s actually quite funny when my handphone starts ringing or beeping with an incoming text message while I’m on the cup phone. It’s as if the baby prefers to call or SMS me on Apple’s modern telephonic device rather than through mum’s really uncool plastic cup phone… I can almost hear it say, “Get with the times, mum!”

Dan, on the other hand, makes up his own lyrics. These, that went to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, were especially creative, “You will love us. I command you. Next time you will give us money….”

However, the smugness of my seemingly clever idea dissipated when:

a) it was pointed out that my voice travels to the baby more effectively though my body than the cup phone;

b) THE BABY COULD NOT HEAR ME ALL ALONG because the nerve endings from the baby’s brain “hook up” to its ears only at 18 weeks of pregnancy (i.e. just last week!) Even then, it finds it hard to hear through the amniotic fluid and protective paste covering its ears!

*grumble* Has it all been a waste of time and effort already? Furthermore, the sound of my voice is probably drowned out by my own heart beat, rumbling stomach and moving blood. It probably sounds like a nightclub in there. Reminds me of Telephone by Lady Gaga (which, ironically, is the ringtone on my phone):

Hello, hello, baby;
You called, I can’t hear a thing.
I have got no service
in the club, you see, see…
Wha-Wha-What did you say?
Oh, you’re breaking up on me…
Sorry, I cannot hear you,
I’m kinda busy.

K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m kinda busy.

…….

Can call all you want,
but there’s no one home,
and you’re not gonna reach my telephone!
Out in the club,
and I’m sippin’ that bub,
and you’re not gonna reach my telephone!

……..

Not that I don’t like you,
I’m just at a party.
And I am sick and tired
of my phone r-ringing.
Sometimes I feel like
I live in Grand Central Station.
Tonight I’m not takin’ no calls,
’cause I’ll be dancin’.

‘Cause I’ll be dancin’
‘Cause I’ll be dancin’
Tonight I’m not takin’ no calls, ’cause I’ll be dancin’!

Good grief. And I thought I would only have to deal with a situation like this when my child turns 18 years old – not at 18 weeks in the tum!

Tags : ,

Posted on : March 29, 2011

Filed under : Mums- & Dads-to-be

5 Comments

Tan Yi Lin

Yi Lin

April 2nd, 2011 at 12:16 am    


Great ideas for conversation topics, you all! Dan decided to be ambitious and narrate ‘squares of numbers’ instead of multiplication tables. Woah.

Celine: Dan would let you know that R2D2 is a very clever little droid! I watched him outwit evil Stormtroopers myself!

Trace: Hey! If we can’t think of any name, we’ll just call our kid Boo. Good one.

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Celine

March 30th, 2011 at 3:12 am    


I did no talking/ singing to Kid no. 1, but stuck a famous politican’s pic on my wall (request from MIL). Stupidly I followed, but cleverly, no 1. turned out to be pretty smart one. Should have followed with posters of sports stars and artistes for No. 2 & 3!!

But pleeze, no R2D2 poster…

Alexandra

March 30th, 2011 at 1:02 am    


Ha ha, I sang ‘ABC’ and the 7 times table when I was preggars hoping vainly to pave the way for easier learning later and also cos someone told me the 7 times table is the hardest to learn!

Tracy Su

March 29th, 2011 at 10:43 pm    


Cute cup phone! How about a longer kacang putih wrapper phone direct from you to the tum?

You could ask if bumpy boo likes what you’ve been eating? Or hypnotise him/her into liking greens so there won’t be any conflicts at the future dinner table…think of all the brainwashing you could do now! Mwarharharharhar…

Yeah, I think public fondling looks weird too…guess the pc-ness of modern living doesn’t tolerate it too well…

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