28 February 2011, by Jaime Teo
The thing with friends, is that you Think you know them. Then they become parents and you see a side of them you never saw before but perhaps glimpsed at…
I recently met up with a friend I haven’t seen in ages. She’s one of those friends that I don’t have to talk to all the time to feel close to. We can pick up the friendship/conversation from wherever we left off, however long ago and it feels like no time has passed at all.
For the last few years, she relocated to China with her two kids because of her husbands’ work commitments. We do exchange the odd MSN conversations whenever we both happen to be online but that is frightfully rare because I’m only on my computer when blogging and MSN is never ‘on’ those times so that I don’t get distracted. Plus no Facebook in China means we don’t share as many pictures/little details of our lives.
I’ve thought about how I would cope if I had to uproot to a new place, look after two kids by myself while my husband is out at work the entire day(I’m not yet thinking about number 2), clean and cook for everybody, and still make sure the couple aspect of the relationship does not get neglected.
I’m so terrified by the end of the above sentence I don’t actually have a coherent plan except tell the man that that must not happen.
But this friend of mine, she takes everything in her stride and manages without whinging. Seeing how stoically she takes everything that comes her way shouldn’t surprise me because she has always been that way, even as a teenager.
I find my thoughts going back to her a lot after our meet up – maybe it’s the very belated realisation that we are really grown ups. Yes, that’s what being a mother makes me feel. Like I’m all grown up. I’ve never felt particularly grown up because being in showbiz is more fun than work but that’s for another post altogether.
She isn’t the only person I know in those shoes. There are others who I feel just as much respect for, but the reality of her situation impacts me more because we spent much of our teenage times together. Believe it or not, this is my first ‘play date’ with a close friend — my other close friends are unmarried/childless. It is so much fun! Everybody has company and the day flies by with many smiles and children quibbles (which by the way, is very enjoyable too!). Renee is too young to actively play, but she looked like she enjoyed being in the company of other little people….
Now I understand why people who have kids, ask their friends to have them too. Other than the fact that you can have play dates and someone to share mothering woes tips with, it really is fascinating seeing your friend become a mother.
PS: I strongly discourage citing your personal enjoyment as reason to urge your friends to take this big step. I took the liberty to google a reason for you : Here are 100+ reasons to have children – you can cite any one or all of them!