28 November 2010, by Dannie Cho
I feel like writing a happy post today, because I had a great weekend. And for those of you who are already jumping to conclusions because of the blog title; okay fine. We did that too. But the great weekend also comprised of great friends, good food starting off my new Star Wars game on the PS3 and winning at a board game. (I totally kicked Dracula’s cursed buttocks! Woot!)
So, I pulled inspiration from the last Maybe Baby @ the Movies on 20 November at Cineleisure, where Ms Joanna Koh-Hoe from Focus on the Family was the guest speaker.
Now, couples like Yi Lin and I are already convinced that we want children, and we want them now. We are blocked, stopped from the joy of parenthood simply because of biological reasons. Ms Joanna Koh-Hoe’s talk was targeted more at people who were dithering… thinking of parenthood somewhere in the future, when they were more financially stable, in less debt, have enjoyed their honeymoon period, etc, etc. So we were not really her target audience. That doesn’t mean that we did not take away anything from the talk. Here’s a slide that I thought was relevant.
Did you see that? Hidden way below in the slide? “NO MORE SEX”!!!
It was very cunning positioning, but I saw that straightaway, and I thought I should reassure all the guys out there, that there very well could still be sex after having a baby. Maybe.
But just in case there isn’t, I think it’s a great reminder to us to appreciate that we are having the best sex of our lives now. Consider this:
1) No messing around with condoms. It’s such a chore to get all hot and heavy then have to search for the condoms, then unseal the packaging and roll it on. And the rubber seriously stinks. Makes me feel bad about running my hands through her hair as we really get into the action. And unless you’ve got yourself a very rare woman, there is absolutely no chance of getting a blow after the first orgasm, so that you can go for seconds. No chance.
2) Advanced bedroom gymnastics. Now, if your woman is already carrying a child in her womb, the sex has to be careful, controlled. You can forget about the Jackhammer, the Reverse Cowboy, the Five Star Frog Splash, the Pneumatic Screwdriver and many, many other esoteric positions. Even the locations won’t be as fun. Car sex would be cramped and uncomfortable (unlike during your fourth date). Tables would feel more wobbly then usual. The washing machine would feel too vibrate-y. The swimming pool? Well… I don’t know for sure if there are going to be any side effects to pumping chlorinated water up the wife’s vagina at this time, and frankly, I’d rather not experiment.
3) General hotness of the wife. Men are visual creatures. Imagine looking up from between her spread legs. Are you going to feel lustier seeing a flat tummy writhing in pleasure, or seeing a distended belly wobbling around? The gentlemen will say that their wives with their distended bellies are sexier. But I believe a true gentleman should not lie. I daresay that the flat tummy will turn me on more. My pregnant wife will still be the loveliest in my eyes, but lovely is not the same as sexy.
So, enough with the moaning and groaning. She gets her period again. The first round of IVF did not work out. So what? Just try again. Just remember that trying again doesn’t ONLY mean going for the second round of IVF. It also means having mindblowing sex!