22 October 2010, by Dannie Cho
One of the greatest pleasures I derive from my new job is the ability to visit my ex-colleagues in previous companies, giving me a chance to catch up on their personal lives while discussing business with them. (No, I do not see it as a waste of company’s time because the objectives of meetings are still met, It’s just that because of the personal closeness we have, the business part of it is resolved faster, letting us focus more on building and strengthening personal bonds.)
Of special interest is my recent visit to the airline that I spent 5 years at, from 2001 to 2006. At the time that I left the company, one of my colleagues in the reservations department had just started trying for a child. I was pleased to learn that she was eventually successful, and is the proud mother of a baby boy.
As I was about to leave the office, she pulled me over for a quiet chat.
“Hey, how are you and Yi Lin doing? I’ve been reading your MaybeBaby blog.”
“Really? Thanks! We’re doing okay.”
“Good. The important thing is to don’t give up. Try again and again. Like I did.”
“Hmm… so what finally worked for you?”
“IVF. You have to relax.”
“I AM relaxed.”
“Yi Lin also has to relax.”
*smiles at the memory*
Now, on one hand, I was really touched by the unexpected source of encouragement. I am very close to these bunch of colleagues, and it warms me inside to know that they still care so deeply about me and what’s going on in my life.
On the other hand, I was totally amused. Eternal optimist that I am, I don’t recall stressing out over many things through the course of my life. I can be focused on getting results, yes. But stressed? Nah… stress and I don’t work well together.
I thought back to the time where we were in the IVF process. Was I stressed? Definitely not. I was totally bored because there was nothing for the guy to do! Was the wife stressed? I really don’t think so. She was conscientious about her injections every morning and kept to her schedule pretty tightly (unless we were snoozing in over the weekend). Was she snappish? No. Were there frown lines on her pretty face? No. Was she easily agitated? No. Did she go for more massages than normal? No… I think. :p
So yeah, it was really a life as usual thing for us. Just that she sometimes shows me her panties while doing her injections after breakfast. And that sure doesn’t stress me out!
But then again, I’m pretty sure that not everyone out there views IVF or other fertility treatments with the same equanimity as we do. Take constant stock of yourself and your emotions. Take deep breaths. Take up yoga! I’m sure that works, because my yoga instructor just gave birth! (Congrats, Jen!)