20 August 2010, by Jaime Teo

Choices (Part 2)

Continuing from my previous post, I was patting myself on the back on how good a job I was doing with nursing Renee. We managed to go on a holiday, she is growing healthily (in fact, the paediatrician says that at 7kgs for a 4 month old, she is above average in size!) and I’m almost back to my pre pregnancy weight.

I’ve tried on occasion (before our holiday), to feed her expressed milk from a bottle but she didn’t want it. Since I Wanted to direct feed for all the reasons I mentioned before, I shrugged it off as no big deal. 

After we returned from our trip, I put in more effort to feed her from the bottle…. and met with big cries of protest everytime. That was when my previous “It’s no biggie” attitude started giving way to worrying about the situation.

She still drinks every 2-3hrs day and night so I cannot leave her side for periods longer than that because no one else can feed her. That translates to not being able to take on any jobs whenever the office (I’m with Fly Entertainment) calls to ask if I can attend/host events of any sort. Needless to say, casting and audition calls also goes unanswered because I cannot commit to shooting periods of more than 2hours =p 

On a more petty note, I also realised I can’t meet friends (missed a friend’s hens night), or go for a game of badminton(even when the body feels ready). Thankfully I have friends who are very understanding, so they come by and give me a semblance of a social life…

I started envying wondering how other mothers cope. Surely their babies have to learn to drink from a bottle when mommies return to work, right? How come my baby refuses to? What am I doing wrong? Or it could also be a case of “Other mommies can do it, why can’t I”. In any event, the question I asked myself was, “Why didn’t I see it coming?” 

Deciding to breastfeed her is a decision I definitely do not regret because it is good for her (look at her cheeks!) and it gives me a big sense of satisfaction. But this oversight on my part to balance bottle and direct feeding is causing me to wonder if there are other ramifications of other choices I’ve made that I’m not aware of.

Other mommies have advised me to just give it time. Even if she doesn’t ever want the bottle, she will be starting on solids when she’s 6mths old and the situation will get better.

Besides, I have always considered it a blessing that I am able to stay at home with Renee for as long as I want. It is such a joy to see her learn a new thing everyday (and she does!), to look at her radiant smile, to hold her close to me anytime, all the time.

Will not working even if it’s for a whole year, make a big difference for me? Not really. So why stress over something that time can take care of?

See? It is all about choices. Make your choice, stick with it, stay positive and focus on the benefits of your choice.

There. Took awhile but Done.

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Posted on : August 20, 2010

Filed under : New Mums & Dads


mum too

September 18th, 2010 at 6:25 pm    

Hey, I totally understand. Almost all breastfed babies resist the bottle, so don’t worry, many bfeeding mums have gone through this and survived. If you’re serious about giving the bottle, it can be done. You just need to PERSEVERE, BE PATIENT and STAY CALM – be prepared to let her go without feeds at times when she refuses the bottle. They will eventually get it as long as you are consistent, and will drink from the bottle when they are hungry enough. It’s easier to get someone else to do this rather than yourself. You will see results gradually after a few days, and after a week or so, she’ll probably be fully converted, and soon she will allow you to bfeed and bottlefeed her interchangebly. When I did this when my girl was 6 mths old, she shrieked like mad for days (think 1+ weeks).. but i had to bite my teeth (and wipe tears) and just not give in. And it turned out well, she took the bottle just fine after 2 weeks of drama and I bfeed her for 1.5 yrs by pumping at work. But this only works if you stick to it. Cos each time you relent and give the breast, you just teach her one more lesson that if she cries long and hard enough, she’ll get her way and it’s even harder to convert her then. All the best and don’t give up! 🙂


August 26th, 2010 at 2:13 pm    

Hi Jamie,

I went through the same thing with my girl. She refused the bottle when i had to return back to work after my maternity leave. At that time i berated myself for not getting her on the bottle earlier (i really like feeding direct and expressing was such a hassle!). Thankfully, i was only working part time for half a day, which during that time, my mom and MIL would coax her with all different type of bottles for that one feed when i am not around (incidentally, she drank more from nuk bottles, not the whole feed but it’s something). But will wait for me to get back to nurse after work.

In the end, i think she adjusted to that timing and my supply as well. Like someone mentioned, it all got better when she started on solids after 6mths. Her feed dropped to about every 4-6hrly (she drinks alot then) but have solids inbtw.

Dont fret if Renee doesnt get on to the bottle. I introduced the sippy cup with the soft sprout (mugmug) at 7mths and ard 8mths, she was sucking on the straw version. After that, it was drinking from the cup. So all in all, she is now taking milk from a cup or with a straw without ever having to drink from a bottle. Life gets back to normalcy from about 1yr when she drops off her night feeds, and self weaned at ard 14-5mths.

So if Renee bypass the bottle, it may be a good thing. At least you dont have to worry about some of the problems bottlefeeding can bring like affecting teething or dependence on it for comfort as the child gets older. Since you are able to juggle your work schedule/time etc, it might be okie to manage w/o bottle feeding her… All the best!!

Jaime Teo

Jaime Teo

August 24th, 2010 at 8:16 am    

Jaslin: Thanks for your perspective on things. I agree that her ‘firsts’ are irreplaceable and am glad I can be here for her =) Clever mommy you, to teach both!!

Breastfeeding Mummy : Thank you! I always feel better when I hear that I’m not the only one 😛

Jasmine: Wow, all three kids? *salute I’ve tried asking Dan to feed her but Dan gives up once she cries (which is about the first or maybe second attempt :P). THis is one very soft hearted Daddy…


August 21st, 2010 at 4:34 pm    

On the other hand,you have been doing very well as we can see that your baby is well-fed.I breast-fed my first gal for two n half years,second boy for 2yrs odd and still breast feeding my 10month old baby.I really enjoy breastfeeding…..;) keep up the good work Jamie!;)


August 21st, 2010 at 4:30 pm    

Hi Jamie,maybe u should hide yourself and ask Daniel to bottle feed her cos it happens to me for all my chn.I gotta ask my helper to feed milk from the bottle while I breastfeed bb direct.when bb knows that u r around and you will latched her or gives in if she rejects the bottle.Let daddy try and it might work…it all happens when u latch her for a long time without introducing bottles in between which made her only want to be latched.

Breastfeeding mummy

August 20th, 2010 at 12:07 pm    

Hi Jaime,

I started breastfeeding my son at birth. Now my daughter is 3 weeks old and my son 3.5 years old, and he’s still nursing.

He also refused to bottle feed. I had to return to work after I exhausted my maternity leave, and he had to be fed his milk from the spoon. I think he simply could discern the real teat from the silicon one, because he also refuse to take the pacifier from very early on, and I was always the human pacifier.

I have a friend whose son refuse to take the breast after he was bottle fed, and wouldn’t that have been much worse? And you have a choice of when to return to work, which is a choice not all of us have!

So I say good job mummy, keep it up, and don’t worry too much about the bottle part. 🙂


August 20th, 2010 at 6:59 am    

Hi Jamie,

U are doing a good job…so dun worry, things will work out well once she has start on solid food. You are one example that I want to learn from..for me, I’m breastfeeding my son and at the same time trained him to take from bottle…but how I envy you and some others who have the determination to feed directly all the time.

You are a lucky mommy who can watch your gal grows and learn. That’s one thing that money cannot replace. 🙂

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