After Nine Childless Years


The road to parenthood was fraught with many trials for my wife Angie and me. 

We spent three years trying to conceive naturally before we found out we had fertility issues. After a few miscarriages and failed non-invasive forms of assisted reproduction, we decided to try IVF. It turned out to be a very painful process. I helped my wife administer the injections as our schedule couldn’t allow daily visits to the specialist. 

The effort paid off when we discovered we were expecting Nathaniel, but it was short lived as during week 19, Angie’s water bag burst, and Nathaniel died in-utero. It was excruciating especially when I had to state my relationship to the deceased when we didn’t get to be with him physically. As a young couple, we were too distraught and opted for the hospital to manage his body.

Two years later, we conceived twins, Joash and Ashley. Again, Angie’s water bag couldn’t hold the babies and Joash died in-utero. The doctor tried to delicately retrieve his body to save Ashley and for that he had to elevate Angie upside down. After the emergency, Angie had to be warded for the next few months. 

Ashley was delivered premature at week 24 where she passed on the following morning. This time, I had to register her birth at one counter before proceeding to the next to register her death. Angie and I ensured Joash and Ashley had a funeral. We even used a teddy bear to represent Nathaniel, and had the three of them interred in a columbarium together. 

It was a very tough period but we realised it was important we didn’t blame each other and cleaved onto each other even more. 

Against all odds, after nine childless years and three-infant loss, we finally had our daughter, Dana, in 2008. Then, in 2014, we adopted Alexander. Initially, we struggled and felt that adoption was very much like a commercial arrangement. However, we decided to go ahead as we desired to have a family. 

Today, our children have changed our lives profoundly and we cherish every minute of our parenting journey and consider each day and moment with them a tiny miracle in them. 

Follow David and Angie’s parenting journey at

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