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“A great marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that must be created.” – Fawn Weaver

By knowing your spouse's love language, it makes it easier to brighten up your spouse's day! Here are some ideas on how to use your spouse's love language to put a smile on his/her face and warmth in his/her heart.

1. Words of Affirmation

Verbal appreciation – unsolicited compliments and encouragement mean a lot.

Tell it

  • Compliment on something specific that you like about him/her, if he/she looks good, let him/her know!
  • Write him/her an encouraging note for important occasions where you know he/she will appreciate the support. 
  • Thank him/her for being your spouse and for being the parent of your children. 
  • Whisper love messages into his/her ears.
2. Acts of Service
“Actions speak louder than words”– simple efforts of doing things for your spouse speak volumes about your love and concern.

Show it

  • Prepare breakfast in bed or a meal out of love to bring to work.
  • Help take care of his/her parents’ needs or do little things for his/her sibling/s.
  • Take the kids out so that he/she can have a much-needed nap.
  • Prepare a clean towel and change of clothes for his/her bath.
3. Receiving Gifts
Visual symbols of love – where gifts are expressions of devotion, effort, and thoughtfulness.

Gift it

  • Get him/her that little something that he/she mentions casually.
  • Make a card with the foot or handprints of your children and write individual messages in the prints and gift it, it is the thought that counts.
  • You don't have to wait for a special occasion to buy a gift, if you see something that reminds you of your spouse, buy it and gift it to him/her.


4. Quality Time

Full, undivided attention – quality conversations and activities without distractions like the TV or smartphone make you feel special.

Just the two of you
  • Take a walk where both of you enjoy or even the place you first met.
  • Cuddle up with one another on the living room sofa!
  • Have a coffee (or non-caffeinated drink) date in a remote cafe. 
  • Have a shared hobby? Do it!
5. Physical Touch

Where receiving hugs, pats, and holding hands show you care for your spouse.

Feel it
  • Give him/her a back rub or a neck massage.
  • Hug and kiss him/her as you mean it, not just that usual customary peck.
  • Surprise your spouse with a random hug or kiss.
  • Hold hands or each other when out in public.

Dr. Gary Chapman wrote The Five Love Languages series regarding human relationships which outlines five ways to express and experience love through "love languages." 

Take this quiz to discover yours or your spouse's love language!

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