Just like a plant will only grow with water, sun and fertiliser, your marriage needs to be nurtured to grow in love. Here are 5 simple ways to brighten your spouse’s day!
Words of Affirmation
Verbal appreciation – unsolicited compliments and encouragement mean a lot versus insults that are hurtful.
A Way with Words
- Pay a compliment on something specific that you like about him or simply say “You’re handsome.”
- Write him an encouraging note for an important presentation that he has at work or sticky note love messages in his wardrobe.
- Use your lipstick to draw a heart shape and write something nice on the bathroom mirror or toilet paper.
- Thank her for something that she does for you or the kids to show your appreciation. You can even do this on Facebook!
- Write a nice quote on a post-it and stick it on the inside of her lap top to surprise her when she opens it at work.
- Whisper to her that she’s your best friend and playmate.
“Actions speak louder than words”– simple efforts of doing things for your spouse speak volumes about your love and concern.
- Make him a cup of coffee and decorate pancakes for breakfast or a meal to take to work.
- Take care of his parents’ needs or do little things for his sibling/s.
- Be kind to him – give him a massage before bedtime or rub ointment on his muscle aches.
- Take the kids out and let her have a much-needed nap.
- Pick her up to and from home whenever you can.
- Be kind to her – check to make sure that she has everything she needs for the day e.g. laptop, money, keys and so on.
Visual symbols of love – where gifts are expressions of devotion, effort and thoughtfulness.
Way Easy Gifts
- Get him that little something that he mentioned casually.
- Buy a DVD; make some popcorn and a drink for him for a relaxing movie night at home.
- Send him a “Box of Sunshine” containing all things yellow e.g. sun-shaped cut-outs, a banana, one of your yellow g-strings, yellow snacks, and so on.
- Buy her a strawberry milkshake and a pretty pink cupcake.
- Make a card with foot or hand prints of the kids and yourself and write individual messages to her beside the prints.
- On her birthday, or your wedding anniversary, prepare a basket of food and drink and take her for a romantic night picnic by the beach under the stars.
For the both of you
- Do something together e.g. take a walk, go for a swim – it helps the relationship to exercise together or something silly e.g. pitch a tent in the room and sleep in it, dance madly to fast music.
- Cuddle up with one another on the living room sofa!
- Create a scavenger hunt with clues that only two of you understand and have him find little memorabilia or old photos that mean something to both of you.
- Look into each other’s’ eyes when you hear that special song on the radio. Shake it up by doing something out of the ordinary e.g. a pizza making class, biking, or walk barefoot in the grass.
Where receiving hugs, pats, and holding hands show you care for your spouse.
All The Way
- Give him a back rub or pet his back while he’s driving.
- Hug and kiss him like you mean it, not just that usual customary peck.
- Text him a naughty message or email him a nice note to his office email address.
- Give her a long full body hug or kiss out of the blue.
- Touch her shoulder, her face when you hear something funny or when your wedding song plays on the radio.
- Help her rub lotion on her hands and feet before she goes to sleep.
Jonathan Siew, senior counsellor from Care Corner Counselling Centre, shares: “Build your ‘love units’ – a concept used to understand the need and benefit of doing things for our spouse to show our care and love. The more we do so, the more we deposit ‘love units’ into the love bank account. As our spouse feels loved and cared for, the happier he will become, making the relationship stronger.”
Jonathan shares the top 3 must-dos:
1. Understand your spouse
2. Be respectful and appreciative to your spouse
3. Have good self-care
The 5 Love Languages, Dr Gary Chapman, Author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Discover your love language here!