Articles

Two couples share their views on living together after saying ‘I do’.

Couples
Aloysius and Rebecca, married on 16 May 2015
Kimson and Noraida, married on 8 June 2014

 

ILC: You were high school sweethearts. How long did you date before tying the knot?
Aloysius & Rebecca: 11.5 years
Kimson & Noraida: 15.5 years

 

ILC: What has been the best memory since you tied the knot?
Aloysius:
Walking back up the aisle, holding her hands and proudly showing off my wife in that lovely wedding dress and the way she wore her beautiful smile, I will never forget that moment.

Aloysius and Rebecca

Rebecca: Once I got really hungry in the wee hours of the morning and he made me an omelette. For someone who can hardly cook and is a self-confessed kitchen klutz, it meant A LOT! (Omelette was delicious and a little um...overcooked.. haha!)

Kimson: Every day since we got married is memorable! Seriously, it is the traditional Malay wedding ceremony. From the preparations to the day itself, it was definitely an experience we would not forget.

Noraida: That would be celebrating our first Chinese New Year and Hari Raya as a married couple.

 

ILC: What has surprised you about your spouse?
Kimson: She loves to stock up on toiletries, especially when there is a sale. Once, we had six bottles of shower foam, 10 packets of wet tissues (it was 100pcs per pack!) and 40 rolls of toilet paper. And she talks in her sleep.

Noraida: He is very particular about things; even folding of our laundry has to be according to his standard which even my mother-in-law cannot achieve! Also, he grinds his teeth when he sleeps. If I don’t fall asleep first, I’ll have a hard time getting a proper night’s rest.

Rebecca: He HOGS the toilet! I am the one that has the multiple hair and skin products and he, the “simpler” one spends way more time on his hair than I do!

Aloysius: Does sleeping earlier at night count? Haha!

 

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~ Leo Tolstoy

 

ILC: How do you show your appreciation to your spouse?
Rebecca: I do little things on a daily basis like putting his wallet into his briefcase before work and getting up earlier during weekends to make him breakfast.

Noraida: I like to treat him like my big baby, hug him tight at least once a day,pat him and give him small little pecks just like how one will do to a baby.

Aloysius: I involve her whenever I make plans and if she doesn’t like it, I’ll ask for her advice. Sometimes, I randomly say "I love you" just to remind her that she is important to me.

Kimson: By giving her a hug or a kiss and telling her that I love her and helping her with the household chores.

 

Noraida and Kimson

 

ILC: How do you interact with your extended family?
Aloysius: We catch up twice a week for lunch or dinner. We also make it a point to keep updated on how everyone is doing.

Kimson: We have dinner over at my in-laws once a week and gather at her maternal grandmother’s place with the rest of her cousins, uncles and aunties on alternate weeks. Over the past year, I have gradually integrated with my extended family quite well.

Rebecca: Interaction with my parents-in-law happens on a daily basis as we are living with them while our place undergoes renovations. I get along my mother-in-law as she is easy to converse with, and we have common girly topics.

Noraida: On a weekly basis, we will meet up with my in-laws for dinner to catch up with one another; we also meet up on special occasions like birthdays.

 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

 

ILC: What are your thoughts on having children?
Kimson: I would like to have two children, hopefully one by next year. I believe that children complete the family nucleus, and will definitely add more meaning to our lives.

Rebecca: We talked about having kids a year or two later as we have just gotten the keys to our house. It would also be nice to have some time to spend alone as newlyweds before moving on to the next life stage.

Aloysius: Yes, most probably in a year or two. Because children bring happiness, laughter and joy to our lives and it will be a continuous learning journey that I look forward to.

Going on dates even after marriage

Noraida: Yes, definitely. Before we got married, we planned to have baby after a year into our marriage. Having children means having a complete family. Two children is the minimum.

 

ILC: Any tips on surviving the first year of marriage?
Noraida: Get to know your partner better, learn to understand your partner’s needs, thoughts and feelings.

Aloysius: Learn to give and take and remember to love one another always; every little step is important.

Rebecca: One can never be fully “prepared”. Make adjustments to accommodate each other, communicate and resolve any conflicts before going to bed and set aside quality time to spend together as a couple.

Kimson: The key is communication. Learn to accommodate to each other’s living habits. It is a continuous learning journey where you’ll discover something new about your spouse every other day.

 

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. ~ Franklin P. Jones

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