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Becoming a parent is definitely stressful for most couples, and some find it harder than they anticipated. Parenthood means that a couple will have less time for each other and for their personal interests. They may have money problems; and some especially mothers may find it physically exhausting.

 

No matter what the issues are, couples must communicate frankly and find solutions together. We believe there is always a solution. If we’re just focused on the fights and quarrels, then we’ll just take a longer time to find it.

 

Practical steps:
• Clear the air. Both husband and wife should spend time alone to think through, say clearly to their spouse what is bothering them and try to understand fully what their spouse is saying.

 

• Find out what each other wants or needs and how to achieve them together.

 

• Identify various alternatives and explore all options together.

 

• Negotiate positively. Try to work out some agreements or plans for change.

 

~ Song XiaoLing, Family Life Educator and Social Worker with Feiyue Community Services

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