One of the biggest sacrifices that comes along with a new baby, is the loss of couple time. But even as new parents cope with the challenges on their time, couple-time shouldn’t be thrown off along with the soiled diapers and unfinished milk.
When couple time becomes secondary to the needs of the baby, especially during the first few months, this can often lead to friction between couples as their expectations are not met with regard to their changing roles.
“When Mia came along, our world turned topsy-turvy. We struggled, sleep-deprived and stressed, with feeding turns and then later with the care-giver when I went back to work,” says Corrine Tan, 36, a sales manager.
“When Keith was asleep, I was awake, or vice versa, or we were both away at work.
“We had zero couple time to talk about, and soon tempers flared over the lack of communications and misunderstandings, which led us to avoid talking altogether.”Finally I sat in bed one night, and asked myself: “Where did the love go?”
Fortunately Corrine and Keith realised that things had deteriorated from the rosy picture of a lovely family of three to lonely days strapped to schedules and arguments.
They had a long chat and decided they needed a break to reconnect over a long Easter weekend. They packed the baby off to the in-laws, and booked themselves on a trip to Phuket. There they renewed their vows and spent a romantic holiday at the resort where they had spent their honeymoon.
“We talked and talked for so many hours, like we used to, about anything and everything – besides the baby,” she recalls.
“It was the best thing we’ve done for our marriage. We cleared up all the emotional clutter and resentments that have built up over those few months and we talked about future expectations.
“I think we made Lucas there, and when he came along later, we’d already booked our next possible getaway!”