Even as baby takes its toll on mum and dad’s schedules, couples should still try to find time for each other. Here are some tips:
Start Dating Again
• Set aside a few hours each week when you can be together without interruptions and without baby, to chat over tea, have a meal or simply hang out with each other.
• Use ‘I’ when expressing how you are feeling, say “I feel…” instead of words that are blaming, such as “You make me feel...”.
• Avoid using the words “always” and “never.”
• Instead of saying “You never help me,” say “I feel hurt when..”.
• If something is bothering you, say it frankly and simply instead of expecting your spouse to read your mind.
• But for best results, phrase your comments positively. Rather than say “I’m tired of doing the housework on my own”, say “It would be great if you can help me…”
Take Time to Listen
• Let your spouse speak his/her mind and really pay attention to what he/she is saying, even if he/she is giving a tirade.
• Don’t interrupt or jump to conclusions, but respect that he/she is willing to share his/her feelings.
Compliment and Encourage
• Think of the good things that your spouse has done and thank or praise him/her sincerely and lovingly.
• Regular praises and showing respect strengthens a relationship especially during trying times.
Reward Each Other
• If you know there’s something that your spouse is looking for, get it and give it to him/her as a surprise.
• Or husbands can make their wives’ day by stopping at a florist and bringing a bunch of flowers home.
Plan a Holiday
• Plan a short holiday, even if it’s just for the weekend, to give your relationship a boost.
• Tell your caregiver honestly that you need to spend time alone with your spouse.