Clearly, it’s not easy being a mother!
By Kel Tan
Motherhood is undoubtedly a highly challenging experience, but at the end of the day, it’s also immensely rewarding – and most certainly memorable. In celebration of Mother’s Day this month, we take a tongue-in-cheek look at 10 unique things that mums all around the world will definitely identify with.
1. Quality “me time” is now a rare occurrence.
“The quickest way to get my son’s attention is to sit down and look VERY comfortable,” quips Sakina (mummy of a 4-year-old)
These words definitely ring true – kids demand to be entertained practically every waking hour of the day, whether they want you to read them a story or need you to provide a listening ear.
“Peace during toilet time has long been forgotten,” laughs Helena (mummy of a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old). “When you hear your kids knocking on the door, you can forget about pooping because it just ain’t happening!”
Clearly, any time you can get alone – whether it’s sipping a nice hot cup of tea or having a quick toilet break – is a moment to be savoured.
2. Eight hours of sleep is a thing of the past.
“Oh, your husband got you a nice handbag? That’s nice, my children gave me eyebags,” jokes Harani (mummy of a newborn and a three-year-old).
Indeed, parenthood and sleep deprivation seem to go hand in hand. From waking up in the middle of the night to comfort a wailing toddler, to rising at the crack of dawn to prepare breakfast for the kids, the sleep debt just keeps accumulating.
Six – let alone eight – hours of sleep is an elusive luxury, while eye bags are a permanent facial feature.
3. Tidiness is a foreign concept.
As the popular saying goes, “Please excuse the mess. My children are making memories.” You can hardly remember how the house looked like before the kids entered your life.
Today, toys and clothes are strewn all over the place ¬– not forgetting the crayon marks and food spills.
4. Toys are made for stepping on.
You know all too well what it feels like to accidentally tread on your kids’ toys (which are practically everywhere – see point #3), but the excruciating pain of stepping on a Lego brick takes the cake.
Those seemingly harmless pieces of plastic can seriously cause levels of agony that rival childbirth.
5. You’ve almost forgotten what your real name is.
“Mum”, “ma” and “mummyyyyyyy!” (and variations of these) are such constant refrains that it might as well be your first name now.
In fact, you have half a mind to change the details on your IC to reflect your new identity.
6. You’re a jack of all trades.
And a master of all of them!
From chauffeur (ferrying the kids to and from school) to chef (whipping up everything from breakfast to dinner), counsellor (from bad grades to heartbreaks) to clown (see point #1 about entertaining), the list of roles and responsibilities you have to assume just keeps getting longer.
That’s not to mention peacekeeper of the household, too.
“Mummy has the power to stop daddy and the kids from fighting over the last piece of chocolate,” laughs Lixin (mummy of a two-year-old, a five-year-old and…a 34-year-old).
7. You can’t remember the last time that you dressed up nicely.
Forget cute tops and pretty party dresses.
Your wardrobe now largely consists of practical, functional clothing – think comfortable, loose-fitting tops and pants, for example.
All the better to chase after your hyperactive child; pick up your wailing toddler; get down on your hands and knees to pick up toys and wipe spills…
8. Your bag contains just about every item imaginable.
Your bag’s storage space is limitless – it is pretty much akin to Mary Poppins’ magic purse or Doraemon’s four-dimensional pocket.
In it, you can put everything from diapers and wet wipes to candy and even toys.
You basically carry the world on your shoulders (in more ways than one!).
9. Your phone is filled with photos of your kids…
In the past, your phone’s camera roll featured travel snaps, food shots and the occasional selfie.
Now, it has been inundated with visuals of your little ones – whether it’s a photo of them grinning toothily at the camera or a video of them petting a dog.
Everything needs to be documented for posterity’s sake!
10. …While your social media feed revolves around parenting.
You love posting the aforementioned photos of your kids on Instagram; likewise, you can’t help but share articles such as “What to do if your child is a picky eater” and “10 easy tips for improving your child’s reading ability” on Facebook.
After all, your kids have taken over your life, and your social media channels might as well reflect that…right?
At the end of the day, it is not about what you’ve given up having your child/ren but, what you’ve gained from having them.
Besides, look at all the super hero strengths you have now!